Strange New Beginnings
by VMLOV83
Summary: A different start to CSI... can Sara and Grissom still find a way to be together.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

"Cookie, I need your help," Jim Brass said into his phone,

"Dad… Is everything okay?" Sara asked concern evident in her voice.

It was not every day he was called Dad. Sara was only one person that had ever called him that. It wasn't always, just when she was worried about him or if she had good news to share.

"I'm fine, except, remember how I told you I had a new CSI starting today…?" Jim hesitated not wanting to say the next part, "…she was shot."

"Oh no… will she be okay?" Sara asked him.

"We're not sure yet. She's still in surgery. The thing is the shooting could have been avoided, one of my guys left her alone at their scene to take care of who knows what," the anger could now be heard in Jim's voice as he thought of Warrick. "I need an unbiased person to investigate… I want that person to be you."

"But… are you sure? There are so many more experienced people out there. I'm still only a CSI level 2. Are you sure I'm the right person for the job?" Sara asked unsure.

"Cookie, don't doubt yourself. I trust you. You have more talent in your little toe than most people have in their whole body," Jim boasted.

"I think you may be a little biased yourself there," Sara laughed slightly.

"No I'm not. You are special and you know it. You over came so much to get into Harvard and finish top of your class. You had labs all of the country after you before you even graduated…" he reminded her. "…and I seem to remember a call last week, something about the FBI. I've talked to the under Sherriff already, as we speak he is on the phone with your superiors requesting your assistance.'

"You're making it hard for me to say no," Sara told him.

"That was the plan. I haven't seen you in months, and though I wish it was under better circumstances, I miss you and want to see you again." Jim told her.

"That's your fault for moving to Vegas," Sara reminded him

"Which was your fault for leaving me and going off to college," Jim shot back.

It was an old argument between them. Not something they took seriously but a way to joke around the fact that they no longer got to see each other as much as they would have liked.

"Okay, okay. I give up I'll come," Sara tried to sound not happy but was having trouble keeping the grin off her face.

She hadn't seen Jim since Christmas when they had both driven to Bakersfield, California, the halfway point between their two cities, to spend a couple of hours together on Christmas day. They had yet to miss a Christmas together in all the years they had known each other, so even if it was just for a couple of hours the time was precious to them both.

"That's my girl. I have a ticket waiting for you at the airport. Flight leaves in four hours, I will meet you on this side," he told her.

"Confidence has never been an issue with you, has it? You knew I would say yes," Sara sighed. "…am I really that predictable?"

"Only to me. I'll see you in a few hours," Jim said.

They ended the call. Sara sat down on her couch looking around her small apartment. She didn't have much. Even though she had lived there for over two years it had never really felt like home. There was only one place that had ever truly felt like home and that was during those few years she had shared with Jim Brass. It would not be hard to leave… just to come back. Slowly she got up and headed into her bedroom to pack.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

Sara made it to the airport with only minutes to spare. Her supervisor had called her in last minute to pass on any of her open cases to other members of her team. She started to sprint towards her gate as she heard the final boarding call for her flight, ticket clutched tightly in her hand. Ahead of her Sara saw the flight attendant move over to the door to close it.

"Wait," Sara called as she neared.

Quickly she passed the ticket over to the impatient looking flight attendant. Sara was ushered quickly through the door. Having not even taken two steps the door was shut behind her, startling her. Turning around she looked at the blocked exit. For some reason she didn't understand the closed door felt final as if something was ending. Turning back around Sara pushed the thought from her mind and rushed up the corridor and boarded the plane.

Having found her seat Sara buckled her belt as she felt the engines raw to life. Excitement ran through Sara at the thought of it bringing her closer to being once again with Jim.

_16 Years Earlier_

_It was not the first time she had seen violence. She had often seen her father turn her mother into a bloody mess. Though this was the first time she had seen her mother fight back. There had been times that Sara had been caught up in the middle of whatever fight her parent had been having, even ended up in the emergency room a couple of times. This time, however, the anger in his eyes was directed straight at her. _

_She had thought she had escaped him when she had hidden under her parent's bed. Moments later she was pulled out from her hiding spot by her hair. She kicked and screamed as she was dragged across the room._

_What happened next was a blur; all she knew was that somehow she had ended curled up in her mother's arms staring at a bloody mass lying in a heap on the floor across the room. All she could do was watch the blood seep from her father's body while her mother held her tightly sobbing. Sara wondered if she too should be crying. _

_Outside the sounds of sirens grew in the distance, but still they did not move. The bedroom door burst open and two officers entered, guns drawn. In minutes Sara was pulled from her mother's arms and all she could do was watch as her mother was handcuffed and taken from the room. Someone came to stand behind her and slowly guide her from the room and it was only then that her eyes were pulled away from her father._

_Outside a young officer stood with her unsure of exactly what he should do with her. Sara felt a blanket being wrapped around her body as the police cruiser carrying her mother pulled away. She only looked at officer for the first time when he knelt down in front of her blocking her view._

"_I'm Officer Jim Brass. I'm going to take you to the hospital to get you checked out. Social services will meet us there," he told her. _

_She looked up at him but did not answer as he placed a hand softly on her back and moved her towards another police cruiser._

Sara was pulled from her thoughts as they pilot announced their descent into Las Vegas.

GSR

Brass stood outside the gate waiting for Sara's arrival. This was only the second time he had been able to get her to Vegas in the eight years since he had moved here. Usually he would return to San Francisco to visit her, other times they just met at their half way point when they had trouble getting off work or school.

_15 years earlier_

_Jim Brass had now been living in San Francisco for a little over a year. He had moved there after finding out that his wife had had an affair and that the baby she was going to have had not been his. His ex-wife was now married to Jim's old partner raising their child together. When she had told him she was pregnant he had been so excited. He was going to be a father. Being told that he wasn't the father had crushed him, especially when he found out she was leaving him for his friend and partner of five years._

_He had packed his things and moved as far away from New Jersey, a place he had been born and raised, as he could. He had settled into the new city with few problems but it still didn't feel like home, there was something missing._

_On this particular night he had been called out to a bad car accident. Arriving at the scene and seeing the crushed vehicle he wondered how anyone could have possibly survived such a horrific crash. The car was wrapped around a pole. Emergency workers had arrived just minutes before and were already working on getting the people out of the car._

_Two bodies were pulled from the front of the car and placed in body bags before they moved to the back seat and extracting the body of a young child. Moments after a voice called out._

"_There's another one on the floor," one of the rescue worker announced, a moment later he shouted, "…she's alive, I have a pulse."_

_Everyone on the scene had come alive as they rush to help. Jim rushed around the other side of the car and with the help of another worker they pried the door open. Down on the floor of the car was a young girl curled up protectively in a ball. She was still except for the slight rise and fall of her back as she breathed. She was pulled out carefully and placed on a gurney. It was only then that Jim got a good look at her face. It was the same face that had haunted his dreams for the last year._

Jim was brought back to the present as people started exiting the gate. It took a while but before he knew it there she was in his arms.

"How's my girl?" he asked as he looked up slightly at the woman in front of him.

"Happy to see you. I've missed you," Sara told him kissing his cheek.

"I've missed you too," he told her as he linked his arm through hers.

"How's the girl?" Sara asked as they walked towards baggage claim.

"Still in surgery. It doesn't look good," he told her unhappily.

"So where do I start?" She asked.

"I need to take you to see Gil…" he hesitated,"…he's in charge of the case now."

"What? Why?" Sara stopped turning to look at him.

"I've been demoted, sent back to homicide," Jim told her, "but I did kind of bring it on."

"Why do you say that?" Sara wanted to know.

"I made some mistakes, had some staffing issues. If I am totally honest the job never quite fit me. Once a cop always a cop I guess." he admitted.

"But a damn good cop," Sara told him bringing the smile back to his face.

"Come on," he said as they started walking again, "we have a scene to get to. I have to introduce you to the new supervisor."

GSR

As they arrived at the scene Sara notice a large group of spectators standing behind the police tape.

"What the…?" she said under her breath as the crowd clapped.

"You'll understand in a minute," Brass told her as they got out of car.

Making their way through the crowd they stopped as they reach the police tape. Three simulation dummies were scattered across the ground.

"Norman pushed. Norman jumped. Norman fell." a man said as he photographed each dummy.

"Wouldn't you if you were married to Mrs. Roper?" Sara couldn't help but mumbled causing a chuckle from Jim. "Who the hell still tosses simulation dummies? There are other ways to tell, better ways. That's so old school" Sara said out loud this time to no one in particular.

"That would be me," a man spoke up as he moved over to where Sara and Jim stood.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

As the man moved closer Sara studied him. He was older; most of his dark hair was now grey. He still looked like he was in good shape, despite his age which she would guess was between late thirties to early forties. She could help but laugh slightly as she watched him shuffle towards them; he walked like an old man. Brass gave her a quick nudge with his elbow and she pulled herself together as he reached them

"Computer simulation? No thanks. I'm a scientist I like to see it. Newton dropped the apple, I drop dummies. I don't care how old school it is," the man told her.

"Gil Grissom, I'd like you to meet Sara Sidle," Jim introduced them quickly before Sara could retort in the fashion she normally would. "Sara, this is Gil Grissom. Grave shift supervisor and entomologist extraordinaire."

Gil gave him a weird look as he made the introduction before turning his attention back to Sara.

"I've heard a lot about you," Grissom told her offering her his hand.

"And I little about you, except that you took Jims job," Sara retorted not taking the offered hand.

"Sara," Jim leant in and whispered in her ear, "…stop it. We talked about this," he reminded her before pulling back and letting out a forced laugh, "…these kids today." earning himself a glare from Sara. "So I have to get back to the station, play nice."

Brass gave Sara's arm a slight squeeze and a warning look before he headed back to his car. Sara watched as he left before turning back to the man still by her side. Before she had a chance to say anything they were joined by a younger man.

"That was fun, Grissom. You need to let me throw things off roofs more often," the man said with a slight Texas accent. "Hi who's this?" he asked as he noticed Sara

"Nicky, this is Sara Sidle. She is doing the internal investigation on Warrick and the Holly Gibbs shooting," Grissom told him.

"Oh right, so are we heading back to the lab then," he asked all friendliness gone from his voice.

"Just have to pack up," he told Nick. Turning to Sara he asked," do you need a ride to the lab?"

"Yeah, I came with Jim, haven't got my own car," she said.

"Fine, give us five minutes and we will get out of here," he told her before he and Nick turned and left her alone.

Sara not knowing where the car was parked just stood there and watched as they placed the dummies back into their storage cases. She was not looking forward to the ride to the lab. It was obvious she wasn't wanted here by either man. She knew she shouldn't have gotten defensive a few moments ago when meeting Gil Grissom, but she just couldn't help it. That man had taken Jim's job. She knew Jim was trying to play down his demotion but she knew that he wasn't as happy about it as he acted.

Nick's reaction didn't really surprise her. She knew her being here would upset some people, but she was fine with that, she was here to do her job and visit with Jim, not make friends. It wasn't long before they were once again heading her way. She followed them silently to the car deciding to not make the situation worse.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

The trip to the lab was a quiet one. Sara felt Grissom's eye on her in the rear view mirror several times but continued staring out the window. Once at the lab, with a description in hand, she was pointed in the direction of where she could find Catherine Willows. Inside one of the labs she found a woman fitting the discretion she was given…

"Do you know where I can find Catherine Willows?" Sara asked the woman, just to be sure.  
"She's out in the field," the woman told her. Confused Sara looked down at the information she was given but looked up as the woman spoke again, "let me guess, Sara Sidle?"  
"I know who I am. I think you're a little confused," Sara stated.

"If you think you're taking my case ... forget it," Catherine snapped. With a sigh Sara tried a different approach,

"Look, we can stand here and argue ... or ... we can get out there and find out who did this to Holly Gribbs," Sara paused giving Catherine a pointed look, "…two sharp women are better than one."

Catherine let up on her frustration a little to share the evidence she had so far. It wasn't much but it was a start. Not wanting to tread on her toes any more than she had too Sara moved on quickly, asking for Warrick's whereabouts. She was pointed in the direction of a local casinos.

She found him at a blackjack table in one of the casinos. Pulling him away from the game, they went to a coffee shop to talk.

"So ... let me get this straight. You were assigned by Jim to shadow a trainee, a robbery comes up on M.L.K, and you go for coffee" Warrick raised an eyebrow at the use of his former supervisors first name, he was known simply as Brass in the lab. This woman obviously had some sort of relationship with the man that hadn't been shared with them at the announcement of her coming here.

"An officer was there," Warrick supplied.

"So, you felt safe to leave? Do you know the policies and procedures for clearing a scene?" Sara asked.

"Yes," he told her.

"Then, why'd you leave? I mean, what was so important that you had to rush out of there?" she continued.

"I told you. I went for coffee," he lied. Unfortunately for him Sara already had already worked out that this wasn't true.

"Was that before or after you made your bets? Sunday ... Vegas ... NFL football ... guy like you ... come on, you trying to tell me that you didn't make a little pit stop?" not getting any answer from the man across from her Sara demanded, "Look at me. Did you log on ... tell dispatch where you were going?"

"Do you know how many times I've been left alone at a crime scene when I was a rookie?" Warrick shot back defensively.

"Yeah, well, this time is different," Sara told him sadly.

"Yeah, why's that?" Warrick demanded.

"Holly Gribbs died on the operating table twenty minutes ago," she informed him.

She watched as the realization hit him, he was partially responsible for someone's death. What he didn't know was that Sara had more experience in violence and death than anyone her age should.

_15 years earlier_

_Sara woke in a hospital, as she had a couple of times before, and unlike most people it calmed her. Being in hospital meant that she was being taken care of. It was a place she felt protected, safe. Whenever she had ended up in hospital the nurses and doctors had shown a gentleness she had previously not known. Even her parent acted differently when she was in the hospital, well except the last time._

_The last time she had woken in a hospital it had been to the realization that her father was dead. Killed by her own mother. Her mother had been taken away by the police and she was being directed towards another police car. It was finally what had pushed her over the edge that day. She was told she had had a panic attack and passed out. She had been admitted for observation but released to social services the next day._

_Since that day she hadn't been back to a hospital. The family she had been placed with had been nice enough. There was another younger girl, Emma, they had living with them and even with the large age difference, Emma was five to Sara's twelve, they had spent all their time at home together. Their foster parents were kind enough to them, feeding them regularly and making sure they had clothing that fit even if they were used, but they fought with each other constantly. Not physically, just verbally, but after years of witnessing her parents fight it still frightened Sara. Emma would regularly crawl into bed at night with Sara as their foster parents yelled and screamed at each other down stairs._

_When they had started fighting about directions in the car Sara had curled up in a ball on the floor trying to block out the noise. Emma had been whimpering in her seat. The last thing she had heard was the screeching of tires. Now waking up in the familiar white room, Sara basked in the silence of the room. It took a moment to realize something warm was attached to her hand restraining it. Looking over she saw a police man holding her hand as he slept. Studying him she recognized him as the officer who had tried to take her away in the police car. Startled she tried to pull her hand away. _

_When her hand wasn't released she started to panic. Pulling franticly to free her hand, the sounds of machines started to beep around her. The movement and noise woke the police officer and he jumped up releasing her hand as some nurses rushed into the room. He was ushered out of the room as they tried to sooth her. It took a few minutes for her to start to calm down but as she did her eyes closed and once again she slept._

Present

Leaving Warrick, Sara returned to the lab to start on her report. Stopping by the break room to grab a soda she finds a stressed Catherine,

"You want one?" She asked indicating to the soda can in her hand.

"Is there anything in there with alcohol?" Catherine mumbled rubbing her temples.

Sara moved to sit down as a pager went off. Both women pulled out their pager, finding nothing they look down at the vibrating evidence bag on the table. Grabbing it up Catherine quickly pulled out her cell phone and dials the number blinking across the pager screen. Sara watched puzzled as Catherine raised the phone to her ear,

"What are you going to say? "Hi, I'm a Criminalist. I was in the neighborhood ..." Sara asked.

"Shh, it's ringing," Catherine whispered as excitement ran through her. Through the phone she hears a "Hello" as it is answered. "Uh, hey," she said not really sure at what she should say.

"Who's this? I just dialed my own damn beeper," she is asked by a male voice.

"Uh-uh. It's my beeper now. I found it," she told the person, with a ditzy type voice, on the other end of the line.

"It ain't your beeper, girl. It's mine." Sara watches as Catherine concentrates on what the person is saying "I do a lot of business on that beeper."

"What kind of business?" she asked.

"You know - slinging a little something-something," a little shocked that he offered the information up so easily, she wished all criminals were so easy to fool.

"Oh, a little something-something. Or maybe a little bling- bling?" she held back a smile as Sara raised her eyebrows.

"So what you know about some bling-bling?" this man was making this just too easy.

"Well, invite me over to your crib, baby and you might find out," she offered the hook.

"It's on. Three Aces Motel, Room 202," and he took it.

"Three Aces Motel, Room 202," she sighs expectantly as she repeats the address.

"See you soon," he told her as he disconnected.

"You certainly will," Catherine mumbled as a smile spread across her face. Looking at Sara she asked, "…did I just do that?"

"What's a "bling-bling"?' was all Sara could say as the women grinned at each other.

"Got me." Catherine answered as they headed out the door, Catherine with a phone to her ear as she requested back up to the address.

CSI

"What are you doing here?" Catherine asked upon finding Brass at the motel.

"Guilt therapy," he told her before turning to Sara who was standing behind her. "What are you doing here?"

"Working the case," she told him with a huff as Catherine watched the exchange.

"Will you be okay?" he asked.

"I've done this plenty of times, I'm fine. Now can we arrest this guy already," she reassured him ignoring Catherine's look.

He looked at her for a minute before passing and banging on the door. Opening the door they rush in as the man tried to escape through the window. Several officers caught him pushing him to the bed as they hand cuffed him. He looked up as Catherine entered and revealed herself to be the woman he had been on the phone with. Noticing the scratch on his cheek DNA was taken. The officers pushed him through the door followed by Catherine as Sara stayed in the room with Jim.

"You do understand I am trained for this type of situation right?" Sara asked quietly.

"I know, but it's hard seeing you in them. I often wonder if I should have tried harder to direct your attention away from a life in law enforcement," he told her. She sighed.

"Jim, the experiences I've had have led me here. The way you cared for me, for other victims made me want to help people, that is not a bad thing," she told him resting a hand on his arm, "…you made sure I was as prepared as anyone could be for this life. I am trained in self defense. I am still seeing a shrink on regular occasions. Yes there are cases that are hard but I can take care of myself, and I have you to thank for that. You just need to trust me, trust that I know when to take a step back."

She gave his cheek a kiss as they hugged each other. Both of them missed seeing Catherine in the doorway and she had moved away by the time they separated.

"Now I think you owe me a dinner before I head back to the lab to finish off my report," Sara said with a smile.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

Grissom was waiting in the hall outside the morgue when the elevator doors opened revealing Catherine. Spotting him she walked over,

"You didn't have to come," she told him even though she was relieved to see him there.

"I know. I wanted to. In case you need me," he told her.

"I probably do," she admitted, "but this is something I'd rather do alone."

She walked past him toward the door.

"Fifteen seconds, you're in, you're out we make a DNA match and it's over, okay?" he gave her one final reassurance.

"Okay," she nods taking one final breathe before pushing the doors open.

A minute later she reemerges, fingernail scrapings in hand. Grissom says nothing as he walks beside her to the elevator. Needing to think of something other than the evidence in her hand Catherine asked,

"What's the deal with Sara and Brass?"

"I don't have too many details, just that they go way back. Brass would just mention her from time to time," the elevator pinged its arrival and they stepped into it as he continued. "I know he went to see her graduate at Harvard, and that when he goes to San Francisco it is to see her. When Holly got shot and we needed someone to investigate, Brass instantly requested that Sara come out and do it. Said we needed an outsider but not official. He thinks very highly of her."

"She came with me for the arrest. He seemed worried to have her there and afterwards I saw caught them having a private moment. I think they may be involved," she informed him.

"No, that can't be it. He has to be at least twenty years older than her," he paused as he thought back to times when Brass had made mention of Sara, giving time for Catherine to butt in,

"Age isn't everything, and from what I saw they are close," she added.

"I think it is more of a father/daughter relationship. He would always brag about her accomplishments," he told Catherine, "besides no offence to Brass but can you see a pretty young thing like Sara go for a grumpy bachelor type like Brass."

"So… you think she's pretty?" Catherine asked with a raised eyebrow as the elevator stopped on their floor and they started to exit. Stumped by her question Grissom stopped only to be knocked by the elevator doors as they tried to close. Catherine let out a small laugh as he stumbled to right himself. "I guess that means yes," she said as she walked off to give Greg the DNA to compare.

CSI

Sara had finished her report and handed it in. she then found herself drawn to the break room where Catherine was waiting for her results. They sat the in a comfortable silence as they waited. There were a few times Sara felt Catherine's eyes on her from across the table.

"Boss, your DNA results are back," they both jumped up and followed him back to the DNA lab. He double checked the results before he looked up at them with a grin. "Well, according to my DNA data the types are 814 quadrillion to one that your suspect is our killer."

"Pretty good stats! Whoo!" Sara stated happy to see they had got their man.

"Yeah, considering there's only about six billion people in the world ... ah, thanks," Catherine said with a sigh as she looked the results over herself, "She gave me just enough ... just enough to catch him," she said quietly.

"Nice work, Catherine," Sara told the older woman before leaving.

Sara made her way out of the lab. In the parking lot Brass is waiting to pick her up. She was going to stay with him for a couple of days before she needed to head back to San Francisco.

_15 years earlier_

_The second time Sara awoke it was to find the officer again in her room, this time casually dressed, in the far corner, leaning against the wall, watching her. Her whole body started to tense up again at the sight of him._

"_Shhh, Sara its okay. I'm not here to hurt you," he told her as she shrank away from him._

_He continued to move closer to her, speaking in a soothing voice, as she rolled herself up into a protective ball. As he reached her side he ran a hand over her head repeatedly telling her, _

"_It's going to be okay,"_

_Though it took some time she started to relax a little as he continue to sooth her, eventually putting her back to sleep. For the next couple of days he was a constant presence in her room. They had yet to talk apart from his frequent soothing words._

_When Sara was released from the hospital she was taken to a group home. It was there that they decided that Sara had some deep problems. Though Sara had always been a quiet child, she hadn't spoken a word since the accident; instead she sat by a window staring at the outside world while other children played around her._

Present

Grissom walked out of his meeting with the undersheriff and the assistant lab director. He had been given a copy of Sara's report and the news that the lab was planning to offer Sara a position on his team. They were impressed with the report she had handed in, she also had a strong reputation as an investigator in San Francisco. Knowing she already had a connection in Las Vegas they knew they had a good chance of accepting. She was too be a replacement for Holly as well as Warrick, who he was told to fire.

Finding Warrick sitting on a bench in a hall of the police station he told Nick to meet him outside as he sat down next too Warrick.

"They say I have to let you go. You violated the policies and procedures for clearing a scene. I read Sara's report, it wasn't good for you," Grissom told him

"I know. I messed up. And Holly's dead," Warrick replied sadly. He reached for his gun and badge and handed them to Grissom. "I'm sorry, Grissom."

"I'm sorry, too. I don't want to do this. You are an important part of this team," Grissom told him

"You got to. You know where I was?" Warrick said

"I think I have a pretty good idea," Grissom admitted.

"I went to lay a bet. I didn't even think I was doing anything wrong. Never occurred to me," Warrick revealed looking down at his feet unhappily.

"It never occurred to me, either," Grissom stood up and turned to face Warrick. "You know what? If I let you go, I got to let me go, too… and Catherine ... and Brass. We're all culpable in this. I don't care what the book says. I lost one good person today. I don't want to lose another, here," Grissom hands Warrick back his gun and badge.

"I won't let you down again," Warrick told Grissom.

"Good. Don't. Next time I will fire you. I want you to attend some gamblers anonymous meetings. Also… you need to know that the undersheriff plans to offer Sara Sidle a spot on our team. You have to be prepared to work alongside with her even though she investigated you," Grissom warned him. Warrick nodded his agreement. "Good go home, I'll see you tonight."


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

Sara couldn't deny that she was surprised when she got a call from the assistant lab director offering her a job. Brass was standing next to her as she received the call. She requested some time to think about the offer before she hung up.

"They offered you a job, didn't they?" Jim asked with a grin on his face.

"Oh wipe that grin off your face. I haven't decided if I'm going to take it," Sara told him.

"Not take it, why wouldn't you? We have the second best lab in the country. There is a lot you could learn from Grissom. Then there is also the fact that we would get to see more of each other," Jim grinned

"Jim, you know I'd like to see more of you, but I don't think the night shift would be too accepting of me. I am part of a great team in San Francisco, I need to consider them," Sara explained.

"They just need to get to know you. They're a good bunch of investigators, they have been together for a couple of years now, they need some fresh blood, some competition, you would bring that," Brass told her.

"This job isn't a competition Jim," Sara said seriously, "it's about helping people who can't help themselves."

"I know that Sara. But it is also the challenge of getting to the truth. Talk to Grissom, get to know the team, you still have a few days before you need to head back to San Francisco," Jim suggested.

"Fine, I will do that for you, but no promises," Sara replied.

_15 years earlier_

_Brass started to visit Sara regularly at the group home. He would talk to her as she sat staring out the window. He knew that she need professional help, her case worker had revealed the issue soon after he decided he wanted to check up on her. On a few occasions he tried to bring up some of the painful topic himself but each time she seemed to withdraw from him further so he decided to take a different approach._

_Brass started to bring her books; he would buy two copies, one for her and one for him. Each book he brought he read himself and then he would talk to her about it. He had never seen himself as a big reader but he now found himself reading things he never thought he would read, Pride or Prejudice, Little Women, Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret and To Kill a Mockingbird. He wasn't sure she was even reading the books until he started talking to her about To Kill a Mockingbird. As he started to describe what he was reading and how it made him feel she turned and looked at him, for the first time, as she listened._

Present

Sara was a little reluctant to meet with Grissom. During her short time in the lab she had learnt that he was highly respected by everyone who worked there, even if he was a little eccentric.

With the spare time she had on her hands she was able to do a little research on him and the lab. It left her feeling intimidated, but there was so much she could learn from this man. What didn't help was that the first time they had met she had questioned his methods.

Walking into the lab two days after she had handed in her final report, of her investigation on Warrick, Sara felt as prepared as she could possibly be. _At least I know where his office is, _she though as she made her way through the halls. Stopping outside his office she looked in. He sat quietly behind desk going through a pile of paperwork surrounded by jars of who knew what and insects pinned to his walls and…_ is that a pig in that jar._ Hesitantly, she pulled her eyes away and knocked on the door.

GSR

Grissom looked up, thankful for the distraction, from the pile of paperwork in front of him. Standing in his doorway stood Sara Sidle.

"Ahh… Sara you're here, " Grissom jumped from his seat, "…come in, take a seat" he told her gesturing to the vacant seats on the other side of his desk.

Grissom retook his seat. Sara took the seat across from him and adjusted her jacket. Coming in today she had chosen to dress professionally in a suit, problem was it was her only suit, a suit more designed for San Francisco's climate.

"How are you today," Grissom peered over his glasses at her.

"I'm well," she tells him adjusting her jacket again.

"If you need to take that off I don't mind," Grissom offered stopping Sara's movement.

Sara could feel her blouse sticking to her skin under the jacket and quickly shook her head.

"No that's fine," she told him.

"Are you sure, it is warm in here," he told her.

"I'm fine," she reaffirmed sitting up straighter, folding her hands in her lap. With a short nod he moved on.

"You are a CSI II about to become a CSI III; Las Vegas is very different to San Francisco, are you ready for that?" Grissom asked sitting back in his chair.

"There is still so much for me to learn. There are things that I could learn here…" she hesitates slightly before continuing "especially thing you could teach me, things that I couldn't learn in San Francisco."

"And your okay with joining an established team that have been working together for a few years," Grissom added.

"I have no problem with that… and I know it may take some time before I am accepted by the team, but I am a hard worker, I don't need friends at work, I prefer to keep home and work separated," Sara revealed.

"What about Jim? You have a relationship with him, will I be able to trust that it won't interfere with your work," Grissom wanted to know.

"I won't deny that my thinking about moving here isn't in large part to Jim living here, he is the most important person in my life, but I won't let it get in the way of the job, I know how to keep those separate," Sara told him.

Grissom stared at the woman across the desk from him. He wanted to ask what the relationship between her and Brass really was. Catherine's words a few days before still lingered in his head,

"_I saw caught them having a private moment. I think they may be involved," she had informed him._

…and the fact that Sara now said his importance to her he wondered what there connection was. He worried about his friend. Being so much older than this woman could only lead to disaster, and if what was between them was romantic it would only lead to heart ache. The distance that had always been there before would now be gone. She would get bored and realize she needed someone her age.

"Dr Grissom… Dr Grissom," Sara raised her voice slightly as she squirmed under his stare.

"What?" Grissom snapped out of his thoughts noticing the uncomfortable woman still seated across from him "…oh sorry, well I have heard a lot of good things about your work. I… ahh, I look forward to seeing that in person, if you so choose," he quickly finished.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

In the end the decision was easy, she chose Jim. Moving to Vegas would bring her closer to the only family that had ever really cared about her.

The move took less time than she thought it would. The quick move left little time to find a place of her own so she agreed to once again she found herself living with Jim, if only a short period of time. They agreed the stay was to be only temporary. Brass was just happy they were in the same city once again.

_15 years ago_

_Jim's regular visits were the only time's Sara took note of the people around her. The other children in the home were cruel and Sara withdrew from them as much as she could, she just wanted to be left alone and as she ignored the words thrown carelessly at her without a reaction they slowly began to leave her alone. There was little to do in the group home, there were some toys for the younger kids and an old TV that the older kids controlled. Not that Sara had ever been allowed to watch much growing up so she had little interest in joining the crowded rec room. Instead she spent most days quietly staring outside the window. _

_The cop from the hospital began showing up, he would sit with her, sometimes hours at a time, quietly watching her. Sometimes he tried to talk to her but would give up when the conversation remained one sided. She expected him to stop coming but was surprised when instead he arrived with books, 2 copies. He place one on the table beside her and then would sit back and start reading his own. That day when he left she had picked up the book; the name Pride and Prejudice stared back at her. No one had ever given her a book before, she had secretly loved to read back before… it had been her escape at school; she would hide in the library and read. Slowly she carefully opened the cover, scared she may damage the pages and have it taken away from her , and began to read. She read for the rest of the day and into the evening._

_When Jim arrived the next afternoon she has already finished the book. The story was lovely and had brought a smile to her face as the characters danced around each other. Jim sat down in his regular chair and began talking. He had obviously not finished it as she had, but he talked about the characters, things he like, disliked and where he hoped it would go. Even just listening to him talk she could tell this was not his normal reading material. There were parts he had trouble understanding the context. She sat there temped to explain what he couldn't grasp but stopped with thoughts of her book being taken off her if she corrected him._

_As the weeks passed more books were brought. They would at times spend reading together, then before he left Jim would recap what he had just finished. At times the topics made his cheeks turn bright red and she would wonder why he would be doing this. Once when she though he was reading she studied him, really looked at this man who kept coming to see her, who brought her these wonderful books. He looked up and caught her glaze and offered a friendly smile before he turned back to his book. _

Present

Sara was back in Vegas within two weeks ready to start work. The first couple of shifts were not busy, just several gas station hold up that were lucky caught on camera resulting in a quick arrest. Grissom had her work alongside Nick to show her the ropes. After the rough start a few weeks before Sara was a little worried, but Nick was nothing but nice and they quickly fell in friendly, if not a little competitive, working relationship with Sara wanting to show off what she was capable of and Nick as the higher ranked CSI not wanting to be showed up.

When on the fifth night of work a call came through on a kidnapping and ransom Sara found herself in one of the more upscale Las Vegas towns. It didn't surprise her when while doing her walk through she came across Nick entering the house

"You're standing in my crime scene," Sara told him.

"No. You're in mine," he shot back with a small grin as he turned to prepare the equipment he had brought with him.

"You're doing audio? I wanted that" she responded recognizing the equipment he was setting up.

"I outrank you," Nick explained as he smiled over his shoulder at her.

"Technicality. Who was handpicked to work here?" Sara said.

"Keep telling yourself that" he told her before he left the room as Sara turned and continued with her walk through.

Working her way through the bedroom some time later she is surprised when Grissom walked in. Even though she knew he was also working the case she had yet to work alongside with him, and even now he barely acknowledged that they were in the same room. Taking a step away from the dresser she was photographing she starts going through the details she had gathered during her walk through.

"Cursory call… looks like a professional job," Sara suggested pausing to see if Grissom wanted to add his opinion. As the seconds pass with Grissom instead just studying different items around the room she decided to continue, "…our guy bypasses the security system, surprises the wife in the back hall. Drags her in here. She grabs onto the doorway, sign of struggle. No sign of sexual assault. He's in, they're out," Sara pauses again, frowning slightly, as something obviously catches Grissom's attention and she wondered is there was something she missed. Moving slightly closer to where her boss was crouched she once again continued, "…Probably ... egress through those doors," Frustrated she can't stop herself from snapping, "Excuse me, is my evaluation interrupting you?"

"No, no, no. I barely heard you," Grissom answered not even looking up.

"I'm busy here going over the scene and you are not even listening to me. This is how you teach? By ignoring your staff. I don't work that way," Sara huffed.

Grissom looked up at his newest team member, her face now red with frustration. It had been years since he had had to work with a new staff member, someone who did not understand him or how he worked. He had grown accustomed to being left alone to do his thing.

"Well this is how I work, we'll just have to get used to each other's ways," Grissom told her turning back to the smudge he had found in the carpet.

Sara stood there staring at the man before her, once again dismissing her and concentrating on what he had found.

Sara had become accustomed to people taking note of what she had to say, her old team, even the higher ranked members, would often come to her with questions from cases they were having problem with wanting her quick eye to catch something they could have missed. But for the first time in ages she was working with someone that may have come across something she had missed.

"What… What have you found," she stuttered slightly as she took a step closer and peered over his shoulder.

"Dirt," was all he offered in response.

"You're ... so ... Technical," Sara didn't know what else to say.

"Oh, sorry, but out of context, it's just dirt," Grissom stated as he stood and exited the room with Sara's questioning eyes following him.

Curiosity soon won out and she followed him out finding him out on the back patio. As she stepped outside her nostrils are filled with an awful sent.

"Did you just slap on bad cologne?" Sara asked scrunching up her nose as he turned to look back at her.

"I never wear it. It interferes with the job," he answered almost defensively.

"It's almost sweet," Sara sniffs again looking around to see where the smell was coming from.

Grissom, having spotted something a couple meters away, moves to pick up the item. Lifting to his nose he takes a sniff and offers it to her.

"Can't be chloroform," Sara stated as she too sniffs the cloth

"Halothane, maybe," Grissom offered.

Putting the cloth into an evidence bag Grissom looked back at Sara,

""Looks like a professional job," I think you said," Grissom recalled her earlier words, proving he had been listening. Sara can't help but smile back at him realizing she may have misjudged him, "Care to amend your evaluation? I mean, if the guy forgets the rag he used to knock her out, he can't be much of a pro,"

_Ahh, let the learning begin, _Sara thought as they started going through other possible scenarios.

For the next few hours they worked side by side as they went over evidence. Sara was in awe as she listened. Grissom was packed full of all kinds of information he had gathered throughout his years. There were all kind of stories to be told and she could not get enough.

"I had a case five years ago. We found a skeleton in an abandoned gold mine. I thought it was a murder. Turned out the guy passed out drunk and the cyanide leached into his system," Grissom told her.

"Gruesome, but what does it have to do with this case?" Sara asked.

"You know, it's funny but every case teaches me something about the next," Grissom explained

"So when you said, "Follow the dirt"...?" she questioned

"Gold mine - it's possible that's where he's got her," he told her with a grin

"Great. There's got to be 100 gold mines in Nevada," she shuddered at the though of getting to all the mines before it was too late.

"True, but how many are near power lines within range of the drop zone?" Grissom asked pulling out a map, "One ... two ... Three," he points out to her on the map.

Within minutes a helicopter was called for and they were off. A heat detecting device was bringing up all kinds of images as they flew over each mine, just not the image they were looking for. Sara was beginning to give up hope as they finished circling the last mine a second time. Grissom ordered another circle and at last spots something hidden below the surface of the desert ground.

Jumping out of the helicopter as it lands the both take off shouting in the direction of the sighting. Within minutes, with the sirens of approaching emergency vehicles getting louder, they hear a muffled scream. They look at each other before they dropped to their knees, Grissom and Sara start digging through the dirt with their bare hands. The emergency workers reach their side just as they hit the wooden lid of the box. Only when Laura Garris had been pulled from the box and was being checked over by paramedics did Grissom take a moment to look over at Sara.

Sara was standing off the side a little bent over, hands on her knees trying to catch her breath. Moving over to her he cupped her face and drew her up to look him straight on.

"You ok?" he asked quickly dropping his hands as she nodded.

"Yeah, it's not often we get a happy ending," she looks him in the eye as she missed the warmth of his hand, startled by the though she quickly added, "I don't know why it still surprises me what people can do to each other," she turns taking a step away from Grissom slightly to call out to the workers now digging up the box, "Transport the box to the lab for latent's. Hair fibers, get soil exemplars."

Turning back she saw Grissom now talking into the radio to Brass relaying the news.

Back at the lab Sara find most of the team already in the break room. Grissom is talking excitedly to Catherine about her daughter's birthday. For a minute Sara wonders if there is something going on with these two. Pushing the thought from her mind she wondered why it would even matter.

"What's the rule? How long do I have to be here before I start kicking in for gifts?" Sara asked

"When the spirit moves you, Sara. So, in your case, I guess, never," Catherine replies rather rudely.

Deciding to back off a little from the older woman who apparently didn't like her, Sara moved over to the small kitchenette and started making some coffee. Turning she watches the interaction of the rest of the team. Grissom had pulled out a chemistry set.

"I got one of these chem labs when I was six. I almost blew up the whole house,"

He chuckled to himself as he replayed the memory in his head. His mother had been so mad; he had made a mess of her kitchen. His father had just chuckled a little and gone back to his paper.

Nick then enters the room bearing a gift as well. The same one as Grissom. Sara holds back a snort as she watches the two men look down at the unwanted gifts. Just then everyone's pagers go off and the group starts to break up and get back to work. Grissom drop's his box on top of Nick's,

"We'll play with these later," Grissom said as he left the room.

Sara took the last sip of coffee put the mug in the sink and also made her way towards the door

"You should keep that; might learn something," she told Nick with a smile as she passed him still at the table.

"Stop flirting with me," he called after her and she let out a small laugh as she walked into something solid "oomph" hand's came out to catch her and she once again found herself looking up at Grissom.

"Ah… Sorry," hands were dropped as he looked down at her, "I ahh… forgot something." with that he steps around her and disappears into the break room. Sara looked at the empty doorway for a moment before turning back to the direction of the garage.

Grissom hurried into the break room where he found Nick still seated.

"Don't you have work to do," he snapped as he picked up his report and once again left the room leaving a confused Nick.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

Grissom wasn't a jealous man by nature but hearing the easy going banter… flirting between Nick and Sara for some reason upset him. He could see a friendship forming between the two and instead of being relieved that Sara had found someone she connected with at work it unnerved him. Then there was Brass, his friend how may or may not have a relationship with this woman. No, this had to stop. He had a job to do; he wasn't here to get involved in office gossip.

Sara was having a hard time getting a read on Grissom. One moment he was in a world of his own the next he was like the great professor you have in college that has so much knowledge to share and teach you. One moment there was kindness the next withdrawn and that was just what she had witnessed in one day of working with him. And now after coming to a realization while examining the getaway car she would have to go out there and ask for a little help checking her findings. Problem was the question she needed to ask wasn't something you asked people you barely knew.

Leaving the garage she went looking for someone to assist her, someone hopefully alone and not within hearing distance of nosy lab rats and CSI's. Unfortunately luck was not on her side. As she rounded a corner there ahead of her stood the whole team talking in a small huddle. Slowly she approached them wondering the best way to approach them. Nick was the first to spot her and smiled. Then everyone turned and watched her approach. _Why oh why was she being tormented so._

"Sara, how's it going with the car?" Grissom asked as she came to a stop.

"I need someone to tie me up…um I mean…" Damn it that did not come out right.

"I thought we had gotten over that phase," she heard a voice say and she felt her face grow red as she turned to the new member of the group. "…I meant that I ah… I think I found some important evidence. I need someone to tie me up to see if I'm right." she explained while glaring at Jim as he simply smiled back.

"I'll do it," Another voice jumped out but Sara didn't recognize it.

"Greg, don't you have work to do," Grissom huffed as a younger man appeared at Sara's side.

"Yes, but if a pretty girl needs to be tied up, I'm all for it," Greg winked at Sara making her go red all over again.

"So you will flirt with anyone, and I thought I was special," Nick joked.

"Fine if no one wants to help," Sara growled at the group and stormed back in the direction of the garage.

"That one always had a bit of a temper, its fun to rile her up every now and then," Brass laughed before getting serious. "We picked up Chip… the kidnapper," he adds at the look of confusion on several of the groups faces.

"Great, good to know…" Grissom was still staring off in the direction Sara had headed "…ahh, aren't you going to go after Sara?" he turned to look at Brass.

"Why? She will be fine by the time we get home and anyway I have a suspect to interrogate," he told them turning away leaving a group of shocked CSI's behind.

"Eww, hot new CSI and Detective Brass," Greg whined once again drawing attention to himself.

"Greg…" Grissom snapped.

"Yeah, yeah, things to do, people to see," Greg hurried away back in the direction of his lab.

"Wow, so it's true then, Sara and Brass, living together. It must be serious," Catherine said amazed, "I mean I've seen things, heard things about them but I could never quite believe it."

"You mean Brass and Sara… no, that can't be right," Nick said in disbelief, "…you knew about this and didn't warn us," he asked.

"What they do in their own time is not our business," Warrick put out there to the group, "they have obviously known each other for a long time. We should be happy that their happy."

"But aren't you curious, I mean the age difference alone, his old enough to be her father. Plus there's the fact that we have never met before if they were that serious would she have visited before. Grissom and I… Where'd he go?" Catherine asked, looking around.

GSR

Sara sat on a stool in the garage staring at the roll of electrical tape, _there has to be a way I can tie my self up, maybe I can break off a length and…_

"Still need help?"

Sara's head shot around to where Grissom was standing just inside the doorway. Shocked Sara looked at him a moment before giving a small nod in response. She had honestly not expected anyone to come after her, well maybe Nick to rub in her embarrassment some more.

"Thanks," she said as Grissom reached her side and picked up the tape.

"No problem, I don't mind tying you up," Sara raised an eyebrow and smirked as it dawned on him what he had just said. "…I aahh… I mean, you know, in the name of science."

Sara let out a small laugh.

"Well at least I'm not the only one with foot in mouth disease. Jim will be reminding me for days," she told him as she stood.

"Yes, well, why don't we get started?" Grissom moved on holding up the tape.

Sara raised her wrists and he quietly tapped them together. She then moved over to the opened to the opened passenger door and attempted to get in. unfortunately it was now not as simple with her hands taped and overbalanced. Grissom was quick enough and caught her elbow to balance her as she slid the rest of the way into the seat.

"Thanks," She said offering a half smile.

"You're welcome," Grissom said as he backed away slightly.

"So I started my search in the back seat and trunk as they are the more obvious choices for transporting kidnap victims, and you know what I found… nothing," Sara explained, "eventually I did find a hair."

"So, you found Laura's hairs here ... passenger side, front seat?" Grissom asked indicating to where Sara now sat.

"Right. Not in the back. Which made me ask, what kind of a kidnapper puts a woman bound and unconscious in the front seat? The back of my arm isn't touching the sheepskin, see?" Sara explained.

"Yeah. So…? " Grissom asked.

"But, there is sheepskin fiber on the back of Laura's sleeve. That tells us Laura sat back like a normal person would," she held up her hands and he cut the tape releasing her wrists, "Like this," Sara now sat back her arms up against the seat."

"So she wasn't bound at all?" Grissom nodded urging her to continue.

"Correct. But, would a kidnapper risk putting an unconscious woman in the front seat of his car, even unbound? So, was she even ever unconscious? We found halothane on the patio. Halothane knocks you out ... if you take it,"

"So, you're saying she never inhaled the halothane?"

"Proof would be in her blood. Halothane stays in the system up to 48 hours,"

"How pleased am I that I got a sample of her blood?" Grissom told her. It only took her a second to understand what her\ was getting at, "So you can go check at the lab, see how it turned out."

Sara got out of the car and headed to the door only to stop just shy of reaching it to turn back to him,

"So, all this…" she had to know.

"Was to see you work through the evidence, come to your own conclusions, show me what you could do," He told her.

"You were testing me?" Sara concluded.

"No, not testing as much letting you find your own answers. It is important to know that I can trust you to be able to know where to look, what questions you need to ask to get to the correct answer," he explained.

Slowly nodding she turned back to the door and left.

With a sigh Grissom sat on the stool she had vacated when he arrived. She had worked through the evidence better and quicker than he expected. Nick had needed several prompts to explore deeper while Sara had worked through her own evidence, willing to back step and look elsewhere when new evidence presented itself. As a CSI II he had not expected to find her already steps ahead of Nick and Warrick who hr had worked with for years. No Sara seemed to be a natural, smart and competent.

Later as he walked out of the lab, case closed, a simple case of greed and double-crossing, Grissom stopped and watched as Sara and Jim crossed the parking lot ahead of him, heading home themselves. There were words spoken followed by a shared laugh as they climbed into Jim's car. Turning away Grissom walked to his own vehicle and headed home to his empty, quiet townhouse.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

_14 years ago_

_For eight months Jim had been visiting Sara a few times a week. She had yet to speak but he could feel her become more comfortable with him. She turned to him now, openly listening when he talked. At times she would nod her agreement, other times he could tell that she didn't. For the last three months he had been looking into the process of adoption and becoming a foster parent and just this morning he had received the acceptance letter he had been waiting for. He could take Sara home with him today if she wanted too. That decision he had left up too her._

_Normally he would bring a book when he visited; today he just had the letter. Having found Sara in their usual spot he could tell instantly that she was disappointed to not see him carrying a book._

"_Sara," Brass paused as he sat across from the young girl he had come to care for as a daughter. Holding the letter tightly in his hand he studied her, over the last eight months she had given him something to look forward to each day. His life was no longer just work and soon, hopefully, someone to come home to._

"_Sara, I have news, good news I think. I want you to know how much I have been enjoying spending time with you. These last few months…"Jim was shocked as Sara jumped from her seat knocking it backwards. Reaching out his hand he grabbed hold of hers, angrily she tried to pull away. "Sara? Sara what's the matter?" she continued to struggle against him, "Sara, I think you misunderstood. There is something I want you to see. Sit down please," he begged. _

_He felt the fight leave her as the tension left her body, guiding her back to an empty seat he sat her back down. Passing her the envelope he had been holding he took several steps back. Looking at the envelope now in her hands she brought her sad confused eyes up to meet his._

"_Read it. Take your time. This will a big decision and I need you to think carefully about what you want to do. I'll just wait here… until you're ready… just read," he told her._

_Slowly she removed the letter, unfolded it and began to read. After a minute she looked up at him a moment before returning to the letter. She took her time. He started to get nervous as the minutes ticked by. 'how long did it take to read one page'. Sara just continued reading. After what felt like an age she looked up again this time he saw tears running down her face._

"_Sara…" Brass heart broke as he watched her. She didn't want to be with him. His shoulders dropped and he looked to the floor only to be taken by surprise as a body crushed against his, arms wrapped tightly around him and his circled the crying girl._

"_Thank you," a soft whisper of a voice said._

_Leaning back he looked down at the tear stained face that smiled up at him now. Pulling her back in his arms, lifting her from the floor, he swung her in his arms. The laughter he heard was the most wonderful thing he ever heard._

Present

Work continued, but something had changed. the easy going banter Sara had shared with Nick when she first arrived had all but disappeared. They were still working cases together but had lost all playfulness.

Walking into the locker room one morning, tired at the end of one shift but having just found out it had become a double Sara stopped as she drank in the sight in front of her. Warrick and Nick were both just getting ready to start a new day. Warrick was dressed in a suit ready to head over to the court house. Nick was in the process of changing shirt and showing off his broad chest and strong arms. Neither had noticed her enter as they continued talking…

"Fine suit," Sara told Warrick before taking a moment to let her eye run over Nick one more time, "and well, just fine." moving over to her locker she opened it as Nick scrambled to pull a shirt on.

"That's harassment," Nick told her as he buttoned his shirt.

"God, what is your problem the last few days? Who put the stick up your butt. I was just having some fun. If we have one locker room, you shouldn't take your clothes off if you don't want to be seen, and anyway it's my job to be observant and that's all I was doing observing," Sara huffed frustrated.

"I should hope so," Nick muttered softly to himself.

Warrick excused himself and headed out as Sara and Nick remained in the now uncomfortably quiet locker room.

"So, you and me, 419 Western LVU," Sara informed Nick as she pulled on her jacket.

"I know, a dead body at a fraternity. Looks like we're pulling another double,"

"So let's get this done. I'll meet to at the car," Sara told him and turns to leave. She stops and looks back at him once again looking him up and down, "... are, are you going to wear ... that? It's that hideous…" turning back around she walks off smirking slightly as she heard him mutter to himself behind her.

By the time he gets to the car Sara is already behind the wheel. She notes the change of shirt and can't help smile. Without a word he climbs into the passenger seat and turns away to stare out the window. Halfway into the journey Sara has had enough of the silent treatment.

"What is the matter with you?" she asked taking her eyes off the road for a moment to look at him.

"I don't know what you mean," he answered still staring off into the distance.

"Don't give me that crap. Have I done something to offend you?" She demanded. "the locker room, did that really upset you, I was just having some fun…"

"I respect Brass," Nick cut her off, "…he may not be my supervisor any more but I still respect him.

"Oookay…good for you. I have a lot of respect for Jim as well, but what the hell does that have to do with the bug that is up your butt." Sara asked confused.

"I don't want to see him hurt," Nick turns to look at her, "he's a good man. He has helped me get to where I am."

"And I am sure he would like to hear you say that. He has helped a lot of people, me especially, but why would he be hurt? You're not making any sense," Sara asked.

"You shouldn't flirt so much!" Nick blurted out.

"Excuse me," Sara heard her voice rise as her hands tightened on the steering wheel. "I don't recall flirting with anyone, not that it is any of your business. What the hell is your problem?"

"I don't want to see you hurt Brass," Nick snapped.

A second later Nick found himself thrown across the car and then forward, hitting his head on the dash board, as Sara shot the car to the side of the road and slammed on the brakes. Rubbing his head he turned to her,

"Are you crazy?" Nick shot at her.

"Who do you think you are? You know nothing about me, or about my relationship with Jim. It is not yours or anyone else's business. He is the most important person in my life and I would never hurt him or let anyone else hurt him," Sara voice continued to rise with each word she spoke. Turning back to the road she checked the mirrors, "now, we have a job to do, so let's get it over with."

Pulling back onto the highway they continue the rest of the trip in silence.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

Jim looked up from the morning paper, he was reading while eating his lunch, as the front door slammed.

"Sara?" he called out, "Your Mom called this morning." After a moment she came into sight, from the look on her face she hadn't had a good morning "What's the matter?" he asked.

"What have you told people about us?" Sara asked joining him at the breakfast bar.

"What do you mean?" Brass asked lowered the paper giving Sara his full attention.

"The team. Nick said something this morning…" Sara explained.

"What did he say?" Jim asked concerned, as he turned in his chair to face her straight on.

"They think that me being here will lead to you getting hurt. It has made me question what they think our relationship is. What have you told people?" Sara wanted to know.

"Not much, they know that the person I went to visit out of state from time to time was you and that your staying here. I thought explaining the adoption would bring up questions that I know you don't like to talk about. I wasn't going to tell them anything that you wouldn't me to reveal unless you said it was okay," Jim told her.

"And I love you for that. I think that they think we're involved," Sara explained. Jim chuckled.

"No, they couldn't… could they?" he laughed harder, "they think…?" the laughter became infectious and Sara could not help but join in. "we could have some fun with this."

"What, no… really? But we don't know I am right. I may have read Nick wrong," Sara suggested.

"Well… what did he say exactly?" Jim asked.

"He said that he respected you, that he didn't want to see you hurt and then told me I flirted too much," Sara explained.

"Have you been flirting with Nick?" Jim nudged her.

"No, well not really, but that's beside the point." Sara told him.

"Not if you are interested in Nick and the real reason your upset is because he thinks your involved," Jim suggested.

"I'm not interested in Nick in any way more than friendship; I was just having a little fun. Do you think the whole team thinks we're involved?" Sara asked.

"Wouldn't surprise me. The amount of gossiping that goes on in the lab," Jim told her. "Do you want me to explain things?"

"No, it's none of their business what our relationship is, but I wouldn't mind teaching them a lesson in making assumptions in things they know nothing about," She said getting up shearing a grin with Jim, "I'm going to have a shower and get some sleep," she leant down pressing a kiss to Jim's cheek.

"Don't forget to call your mother back," Jim called after her.

"I'll call mom later," she called back to him as she disappeared from view.

CSI

"Mom is coming up this weekend to visit," Sara told Jim as they pulled into the lab car park, "is it okay for her to stay with us?"

"Laura? Anytime. Will she be staying long," he asked turning to face her.

"Just the weekend, I think she just wants to see where I'm living," Sara explained. Brass nodded as she opened the door and hopped out. "I'll see you later,"

Sara walked around the car heading toward the lab entrance only to stop as Jim called her back. Walking back towards him she leant down.

"Miss me already?" she asked him.

"Not at all," he answered with a grin, "well maybe a little. But instead I thought we could have some fun," he told her softly, "Nick just drove in. How about a kiss for your old man?" Sara smiled and lent through the window and kissed his cheek.

CSI

Nick noticed them as soon as his car entered the lot. Sara was heading into the lab. She stopped and turned back to the car stopped in front of the entrance, Brass's car. Smiling she walked back to him, after a few quick words her head disappeared into the car window. A moment later she leant back smiling one last time before turning and walking away, this time entering the building.

'_Well it seems our talk this morning didn't put her off'_ he thought as he exited his car following her into the lab.

CSI

Sara was looking forward to her mother's visit. It had been month's since she had last seen her. Their relationship had taken years to get where it now was.

_14 years earlier_

_Sara entered Jim's home with very little and was presented with a bedroom as plain as could be. Together they had made it her own. One wall was covered in shelve and Jim was helping her to fill the space one book at a time. A comfy chair was in the corner nearby ready for her to curl into as she read. _

_As a gift, when she had moved in, Jim had given her a camera 'to make new memories' he told her. Photography was never something that she had ever thought of doing but quickly she had come to love it. The camera went everywhere she did. She could be in the middle of a conversation when something would catch her eye. Soon scattered across another wall were pictures taken of their time together, a couple of candid pictures of Jim, sometime including her but mostly random people or things, a starfish washed up on the beach, a tree split in two during a storm, and her favorite, a young girl face turned to the sky as she took in the warmth of the sun on one of the last days of summer. _

_Slowly Sara began to see how families should be. To have someone willingly spent time with her. For the first time school was something she could excel at without worrying about the other kids talking about her behind her back or pointing at the bruises she could not hide, picking on her because her cloths did not fit or were out of fashion or the latest haircut her father had given her. For the first time she had made a friend._

_Sara did not know how she would ever thank this man who had taken her in, who gave up most of his spare time to take her places, sharing experiences she never dreamt of experiencing. Then as Sara and Jim prepared for their first Christmas together she notice that there was something making him nervous and Christmas grew closer she began to worry, as each day passed Jim seemed to withdraw a little more, there was something he was holding back from her that was obviously bothering him._

_With just three days left till Christmas Jim woke Sara and told her he had the day off work and they were going somewhere. When she questioned him he would not answer. The sat in silence in the car for over an hour in silence before Sara finally spoke,_

"_You're taking me back aren't you?" she said softly looking down at her lap._

"_Wha…" Sara cut him off,_

"_Have I done something wrong? I can be better. Please I don't want to go back," she begged. _

_Swearing Jim pulled the car over to the shoulder and turned to her._

"_Sara, Cookie. No, never that. We are so close to finalizing the adoption, and I am not giving you up now, or anytime in the future. You are my family, you are more important to me than anyone," he explained._

"_Then what? You have barely been able to look at me for weeks," Sara wanted to know._

"_There is something… I didn't know how to tell you. Two years ago you life changed in a way I could never understand. You won't talk to Dr Phillips, he was supposed to help you, help you understand. I wanted to give you the best help I could afford to give you the best future possible," Jim took her had in his, "…to be able to finalize the adoption I need your mother to sign over her rights."_

_Sara looked at him shocked. She had not seen or heard from her mother in two years. Not since that night._

Present

Over the next few nights Sara continued working alongside Nick on their fraternity case but kept everything professional. She only spent time with the rest of the team when they needed to go over case details. Instead she began to enjoy the company of the lab rats. Greg had a habit of appearing whenever she sat down for a break and could have her laughing in minutes, she joined him for breakfast one morning at a dinner near the lab. There she was introduced to other members of the lab, Archie, Henry, Mandy and Bobby. To begin with she had sat back observing the friends but they would not exclude her and soon she found herself laughing as they took turns telling stories about their strangest things to pass through their labs.

Grissom had noticed Sara withdraw from the team; she barley spoke a word to anyone that didn't have to do with work. He worried about her isolating herself from the team, knowing that having a team that could not work together could lead to all kinds of problems so he decided the best thing would be to speak to her, privately, away from the lab to see if he could resolve whatever issues she was having.

CSI

Late Friday afternoon the was a knock at jims front door. Smiling to himself he pulled himself from the couch to answer it. Opening the door he smiled at the woman on the other side.

"It's been to long, it should not be this long between visits," he told her pulling her into an embrace.

"Just over a month, we have been apart for longer," she laughed at him.

"Yes, but it is still to long. You really should move here," Jim told her stepping back but taking one hand in his as he took her bag with the other.

"Jim we've talked about this, what about Sara?" she asked smile now gone from her face.

"Sara is an adult, she would understand. She loves us both and would want us to be happy," he argued.

"I know, but I am allowed to worry. Where is she anyway?" the woman asked looking around the foyer.

"Still asleep, she worked until late morning," Jim answered, "am I allowed to ask for a proper welcome before she show herself?"

He was rewarded with another smile as she stepped forward placing a soft kiss to his lips.

"JIM?" an angry voice made the both turn to the still open door.

"Gil, what are you doing here?" Jim asked breaking contact with the woman beside him.

"How could you? What about Sara? How could you do this to her?" Grissom ranted as he entered the house.

"Gil, I think you have misunderstood…" Jim now worried at his friends raise voice

"Jim, what's this man talking about? What about Sara?" the woman now moved closer.

"Misunderstood? I was worried about her hurting you, only to find you kissing another woman in the house you share with Sara," Grissom hissed.

"Kissing," they all turn to face the stairs where Sara now stood looking down at them. "you were kissing my mother?"


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

Sara had just finished getting dressed after her shower and was pulling on a sock when she heard an angry voice downstairs.

"JIM?"

It sounded like Grissom but she had never heard his voice raised, also in the time she had been staying here he had never stopped by before. Not bothering with the other sock she rushed from her room to the stairs. Stopping just at the top of them she took in the sight below. Jim was standing beside her mother, Grissom stood just inside the front door glaring at them, none of them noticed her above.

"How could you? What about Sara? How could you do this to her?" Grissom ranted as he entered the house.

"Gil, I think you have misunderstood…" Jim attempted to calm his friend.

"Jim, what's this man talking about? What about Sara?" her mother now moved closer to Jim and Sara was about to announce her presence but Grissom continued.

"Misunderstood? I was worried about her hurting you, only to find you kissing another woman in the house you share with Sara," Grissom hissed.

"Kissing," Sara said to herself only it was louder than she thought as everyone turned to her. She turned her attention directly on Jim. "you were kissing my mother?"

"Mother?"

"Sara…"

"Hi honey," Everyone spoke at once.

Sara smiled at her mom in greeting.

_14 years earlier_

_They had finished the journey in silence. As the car entered the prison gates Jim looked over at Sara who had sunk back as far as she could in her seat but still took in everything she was seeing. Slowly he parked the car._

"_Ready?" he asked._

"_No," she admitted._

"_Sara, we have to do this," Jim encouraged her, "…this a condition for you to continue living with me. Sara she wants to see you, she is your mother."_

"_She was barely a mother then, what difference will a couple of years make?" Sara put at him._

"_Sara, unfortunately, you don't have a choice. Let's just get in there and get it done and then we can get home," he suggested._

_Opening the car door he got out and walked around the car and opened Sara's. Reluctantly she got out. With a steady hand on her back they walked towards the visitor's entrance. After being searched they were escorted to the visitor's yard. Together they sat down at an empty table. The silence continued and Sara began to fidget. Taking her hand in his he spoke,_

"_Sara it is okay to be nervous. I am sure your mother is nervous as well,"_

"_Really…?" she asked softly tears in her eyes._

"_Really. She hasn't seen her beautiful, smart daughter in over two years, she asked to see you, wanted to see you. To be missing the chance to watch you grow up must be very hard for her," he told her._

"_What if she blames me for her being here? She is in jail because of me," Sara lowered her eyes and a tear hit the table._

"_Sara, Cookie, look at me, what do you mean you fault?" Jim asked wiping a tear away._

"_Dad he was mad at me. He came upstairs and found me in the bathroom. We were having a dance at school, I wanted to go and decided to see what I looked like in some makeup," she looked up at him as she spoke, "Mom kept a small makeup case in her bedside table. I had put on some lipstick and eye shadow and was putting my hair up when he entered. He said I looked like a whore, he grabbed a tissue rubbing the makeup off, it hurt and I tried to get away…"_

_Sara seemed to have lost herself in the story tears pouring from her eyes, Jim held her hands tightly but let her continue knowing it best for her to finally tell the story she had been holding in for too long._

"…_he said that if I wanted to look like a whore he would treat me like a whore. He ripped my favorite shirt. It was new, I hardly ever got new clothes but it was a birthday present and I was wearing it for the first time. I struggled and managed to get away from him. I didn't have time to get to my best hiding spot so I hid under their bed. He found me within minutes."_

_She looked at him again sadly,_

"_If I hadn't taken her makeup she wouldn't have had to stab him," she looked away hoping he wouldn't hate her._

"_Sara…" Jim noticed for the first time a woman standing behind Sara, he saw the tears in her eyes as well, the same brown eyes as the young girl sitting across from him._

Present

Sara walked down the stairs and into her mother's arms. Grissom watched on confused, Sara did not seem angry at all that the man she lived with would be kissing her own mother.

"It's about time," Sara looked over at Jim and smiled as stepped back.

"About time… you knew?" Jim asked.

"Nothing officially, but I have seen the way you have looked at each other over the years and whenever I talked to either of you, you always took the time to ask how the other was doing, I just followed the evidence," she told them with a grin.

"Hold on…" they all turned to look at Grissom as he spoke up again, "this is your Mother?" he questioned Sara.

"Yes," she replied with a nod.

"And she has been kissing Jim?" Grissom continued,

"I thought we had already established that," Sara told him.

"Your okay with your mother kissing the man you are living with?" Grissom asked staring at them.

"Why should I mind? I want them to be happy," Sara told him.

"Gil, I think you may have gotten the wrong idea," Brass decided it was probably best to explain, "Sara is my daughter, sort of."

"Sort of? What do you mean sort of?," Grissom said confused that this was the first he had heard of any daughter.

"Well Sara came into my care when she was thirteen, I legally adopted her shortly after she turned fourteen," Jim explained to his friend not going into detail.

Grissom nodded as he absorbed his friend's information

"So you two…?" he pointed between Jim and Sara's mother, "…you…" he faded off not quite sure of the question.

"That is a much longer sto…" Jim was cut off.

"I was unable to take care of Sara as a teenager, unfortunately we spent most of those years apart," Sara's mother decided to speak up for herself, "by the way I am Laura Sidle."

She approached him hand out, Grissom took her hand and shook it.

"Gil Grissom, I work with Sara and Jim," he introduced himself.

"You will need to excuse these two they can be very private. It took me awhile before I was accepted into the fold. They have made it through a lot of crap to get to where they are, I am just thankful my daughter has someone she could rely on," Laura told him.

"Mom…" Sara stepped forward.

"Honey, it's true. There are not many children who could go through what you've been though and become such a strong individual. I am proud of who you've become and know that it did not come from me," Laura told her daughter as she ran a loving hand down her cheek.

Grissom watched the mother and daughter and couldn't help wonder about their story. Jim had moved up to them and placed a hand around Laura's waist as he also took Sara's hand. Feeling as if he was intruding on a family moment Grissom looked at his feet.


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

Grissom had been at the lab hours before shift started. Experiments cleared his brain and this afternoons experience had left him confused and wanting to know more. He realized how little he really knew his friend. Brass had a life outside of work that no one knew about. A daughter. A girlfriend. Putting the petri dish into the fridge he left the lunch room and headed towards his office. The rest of the team would be here soon and he still had mountains of paperwork still needing to be completed.

Sitting down he let a grim sigh. The mountains of paperwork on his desk seemed to magically grow each time he looked at it. He then looked at the computer he had yet to turn on, it would be so easy to look up old cases, find out what had kept a family apart for so many years. His curiosity urged him to turn it on, reaching out his hand his finger touched the button, hesitating he pulled back a little. Jim would be pissed if he found out someone had done a background check on him, something's were best left in the past nobody knew this better than Grissom, if his friend wanted to tell him he'd listen otherwise he would just mind his own business. Turning away from the temptation he took the top sheet from the pile and started to read…

"Hey, you want to give us our assignments or do you want us to take the night off?" Catherine interrupted his thoughts.

"Paperwork, paper clips, paper-punchers… all these people want me to do is push paper; nobody wants me to solve crimes," Grissom pushed some papers away irritated.

"Hey, you could have turned the job down," she shrugged.

"The grass is always greener," he mumbled pushing away from the desk.

CSI

Sara was a little worried getting into work. The scene that had been played out at home had taken place in front of her boss. There were things about her life, past, she was not ready to reveal yet and she knew that the scene that had played out would have alerted Grissom somewhat about it. Not yet knowing him well enough she had no idea if was the type of person who would freely do background checks on people, worse, if he then revealed what he found. She was trying to earn the respect of her colleagues she did not have them pity or look down on her. While she had come to accept and understand it better herself over the years she still worried about what others would think if they found out.

_14 years earlier_

"_I never want to hear you say that again," a sad yet firm voice said from behind her._

_Sara shot around wiping the tears from her face. Just meters from where she sat stood the women she missed yet feared most in the world. The two years had not changed her mother as much as she expected. Her hair was longer, skin fairer and she was slightly slimmer but she was still the same woman. Her eyes were still sad, just as they always had been._

"_Your hair has gotten longer," Sara said unsure of what she should say._

"_Yeah, don't get to the hairdresser as much these days and they won't let us have scissors in here," she played nervously with a strand of hair, "I'm glad you've come."_

"_Glad, you're glad to see me. I haven't seen you in two years and you're glad to see me…" Sara suddenly became angry, "Two years and not one word, you could have just signed those papers and saved us the trip." Sara shouted._

"_Sara," Jim warned as he came up beside her resting a comforting hand to her shoulder._

"_Don't Sara me," she turned on him, "You're the one who brought me here with no warning at all. You didn't even give me time to get used to the idea…"_

"_I know you're angry," Laura came closer reaching out to her daughter but Sara took a step back._

"_Angry, of course I'm angry. You have no idea what the last two years of my life have been like. Things were just starting to look up and you're going to mess that up," Sara glared as a hand came to rest on her shoulder._

"_Give her a chance, she only wants what best for you," Jim told her softly._

"_How do you even know that…" she said looking between the two adults and a realization struck her, "…you've been talking, how long?" she demanded._

"_Since just before you came to live with me," Jim admitted._

"_You kept this from me all this time… you talked behind my back," Sara stated shocked by the information._

"_It's not like that…" her mother started._

"_She's your mother, she has a right to know what is going on in your life," Jim told her_

"_Rights… she gave up her rights when she took that knife and plunged it into my father's chest over and over. She left me alone, I had no one, she has no rights anymore," Sara cried._

"_I did it for you," Laura said._

"_For me, I wasn't the one he beat and lashed out at daily, you just finally snapped," Sara stated._

"_I didn't want to see you hurt…" her mother said._

"_Broken arm, ribs, multiple stitches and bruises. I'd been hurt before what made that last time different?" Sara demanded stepping forward this time._

"_All those previous time you were just in the wrong place at the wrong time. It was the first time his rage was completely directed at you, who knows what he would have done to you, all I knew was that I had to stop it," Laura managed to say blinking back tears._

"_We could have left, you never even tried. We could have stayed together starting fresh somewhere new, somewhere he couldn't have found us," Sara sank down to the bench, "you didn't have to leave me too."_

"_There was no other way. You were too young to remember but I did try to leave once. He caught up to us and I ended up in hospital for a week," Laura sat beside her._

"_The police, we could have gone to the police," Sara looked up at Jim, "They would have helped us, that is why they are here, to protect us."_

"_Sometimes you get in position where you can't ask for help. Your father had a way of covering his tracks. The stories he weaved were amazing. He once had me admitted for trying to hurt myself. I spent days in a psychiatric ward, after that it made it even easy for him. No one would have believed me," She explained._

"_She's right cookie... Most of the time we don't know about abuse until it's too late," Jim admitted, "It's unfortunate and too many get away with it."_

"_That isn't right; people should pay for what they do. Women… children should have protection. I know there is a system but it should work better for people. We all have a right to happiness and safety," Sara demanded._

"_They should, unfortunately that is not the world we live in. The law itself sides with the criminal a lot of time. People like your mother try to protect themselves and their children and instead end up where the person they are protecting themselves from should be," Jim explained, "There is always two sides to a story and sometimes we don't get it right."_

"_I would do almost anything to change how things happened, but I also glad that your father is no longer around to hurt either of us again. I made a mistake I admit that," Laura said softly to her daughter, "but I can already see the woman you are becoming without me. You would not be becoming the strong, caring, passionate girl I see growing in front of me and none of that is because of me." she added sadly._

"_But it is because of you. How could it not be? You are the one who gave me the freedom to see there is more to life. Without you Jim would not have found me to show me there's another way to live. Yes I am angry, there are thing I don't completely understand, I want to find a way, a way to never be in that position again…" Sara reached out and touched her mother's arm, "…I want to be able to help others like us."_

_Sara left the jail that day seeing her mother in a whole different light. She also had a plan for the future she did not have when she had entered the prison that day. The next day when she saw her therapist she opened up for the first time. She now had a purpose and she needed as much help as she could get… _

Present

With the cases handed out, happily, Sara found herself alone, sadly though, to be in a dumpster surrounded by garbage. There was definitely something off about this body; it was sticky in a way she had never seen.

"Glazed like a doughnut." she muttered looking at the gloss on her finger tips.

"Doughnuts?" a voice asked.

Turning around Sara found the assistant coroner, David Phillips, looking up at her.

"The body…" she told him "… it's like it is glazed."

"From the dumpster?" David asked.

"No something else… I don't know what yet, but I will find out," she told him

Returning to the lab David continued working alongside her as they tried to solve their glaze covered mystery

"Well, here's the reason the skin was funny," David spoke bring her attention back to the screen in front of them.

"Formaldehyde, right?" Sara questioned taking in the information before her,

"Close. Biotone arterial. Promotes high diffusion and fast drainage in skin tissue," he explained to her

"This woman's been embalmed," she said.

"Yeah, I already ran her prints through work here. Got an I.D. right here," he told her as she moved in for a closer look. The information on the screen was what she was what she needed, a place to start finding answers.

Pressing the print key Sara notice a slight nervousness to the man next to her as he fidgeted.

"I, uh, I just want to say I-I ... well, I really admire the gusto with which you approach your job." David stuttered.

"Are you hitting on me, David?" Sara turned to him.

"I ahh," David paused unsure of how to answer.

"Let me give you some friendly advice. If you want to pull chicks, you've got to get aggressive. You've gotta drop the glasses, lose the coat grow some scruff. You do get a "C" for cute, though," Sara put a friendly hand on David's shoulder, "How long have you worked here?" Sara asked.

"About six months…" David replied.

"Well I think it's time to get you out of this lab. There's a group of us, we meet for breakfast after word a few times a week at a dinner down the street. Come with us?" she offered.

"I don't know…" David said.

"Come on, you barely get to interact with anyone down there in the morgue," she said.

"There's Doc Robins," David said.

"And lot's of dead people. Join the land of the living. It'll be fun," Sara told him.

"Okay… I guess I could," he finally relented.

"Great, we're meeting at nine," she turned leaving the room.

CSI

Sara was happy to meet her friends for breakfast knowing it would give Jim and her mother a little more time together before she had to go home. She was able to share with them the news of her mother's visit as they already knew that Brass was a father figure to her and not the boyfriend the rest of the lab believed him to be. They had spent may breakfast laughing about the latest story going around the lab as they enjoyed here food.

The group had mostly arrived and ordered before David had shown up. They welcomed the newcomer with open arms and by halfway through the meal he had started to relax a little and was starting to add to conversations.

"CSI alert," Greg alerted the group suddenly.

"Hate to burst your bubble Greg but I've been here for a while," Sara laughed.

"Not you smart ass, the rest of your team just walked in," he told her.

Everyone turned to the door to see the door close behind Nick. Grissom and Catherine were at the counter while Warrick grabbed a table. Sara watched on as they all joined Warrick at the table. They all laughed at something Nick said as a waitress went over to take orders watching the group interact so naturally together Sara could tell that the she would not be a part of the close knit group, but did she really want to be. They had not exactly been the most welcoming and some of that, she knew, was her own fault.

Suddenly Grissom looked up and caught her staring. Sara turned away quickly.

"Aaaawkward," Greg mumbled.

"Shut up," Sara elbowed him.

"Yeah Greg, it's not Sara's fault that she likes us better," Mandy joked lighting the mood as the rest of the table laughed.

"Of cause she likes us better, Lab rats have all the fun," Greg explained.

"Only when your not getting us in trouble with your latest prank," Archie told him throwing a piece of bagel hitting Greg right between the eye's.

"Nice shot," Bobby high fived Archie from across the table.

"I feel like I'm back in high school," Sara laughed, "without the cute jocks."

"I don't know… Nick it pretty hot," Mandy muttered under her breath.

The others at the table still managed to hear her though.

"Nick and Mandy sitting in a tree K.I.S… Ow," Greg leant under the table to rub his shin glaring at Mandy as she smirked back at him.

"Like you all haven't fantasized about Catherine at some time or another. You think I haven't seen you staring at her chest," Mandy retorted

"Well if she didn't want us too look she shouldn't wear those tops," Greg told her with a grin before turning to the other guys at the table, "like the one she wore yesterday."

"Red," Bobby smiled off into space.

"Tight," Henry added.

"Low cut," Archie grinned

"Showed just a hint of bra…" David spoke up.

They all turned to him as his face flashed bright red.

"I… ahh," David stuttered.

"I think I need more coffee if this conversation is going to continue," Sara said pushing back her chair to stand.

"What color was…"

Sara rolled her eyes as she escaped Greg's question. Moving to the counter she ordered and took a seat on the stool.

CSI

Grissom watched as Sara walked from her table and across the dinner. He knew she had seen him and was embarrassed. She had seemed at ease with the lab technicians as they laughed and joked around. He was glad to see that she had made friends. He saw how she continued to struggle around himself and the rest of the team but wasn't too sure what he could do to help. Excusing himself from the table he got up and headed over to the counter. Taking a seat on the stool beside her he spoke the first word that popped into his head.

"How's your case?"

"Fine, not a murder which is a nice change, but I am a little nervous to find out how a funeral home treats the deceased," she told him joking slightly.

"So it's going well then?" he asked stupidly.

"As well as it possible could," she eyed him and questioned, "is that all you needed?"

"I… yes, I just wanted to make sure your not having any problems with the case," he explained quickly.

"No, more than usual…" she looked behind him "… looks like your breakfast has arrived. You should go eat before it gets cold," she told him fidgeting slightly.

Turning he saw that the food had indeed had arrived and Catherine was waving him back over.

"Yes, well… I will see you tonight. Have a good day," he said turning to walk away slowly.

"You too…" she called after him watching him go.

"So I'm not the only one with a crush on someone at that table," A voice whispered in her ear.

Startled Sara swung around to see she had been joined by Mandy.

"What… no, we were just talking," Sara protested.

"Sure… you could see the tension bouncing off the two of you when you talked. There is something there, you talk without really talking. He looked nervous and reluctant to leave," Sara was told.

"No… you think… I mean, you're wrong. You're imagining things." she suggested.

"Am I, he was watching you from the moment he noticed you here and before that you stared just a little," Mandy told her bringing a slight blush to her checks and a smile to Mandy's face. Shaking her head…

"No it's awkward is all, them being here," she said

"Keep telling yourself that… I know what I saw…come on, grab your coffee and come back to the table we need to get off the topic of Catherine underwear and I can't do it by myself," Sara laughed.

"Fine, maybe we can talk about Nick's instead, would you prefer that?" Sara asked.

"Probably, what do you think boxers or briefs?" Mandy laughed.

"Can you see Nick in a pair of tightly whites? … Wait… forget I asked…" Sara pleaded as she saw Mandy's mind start to wander.

"But the picture is so pretty," Mandy whined and they laughed again as they reached the table and took their seats again.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

Sara had enjoyed her night off. She had the chance to have her mother to herself for dinner and they had talked for hours. When Laura finally caught sight of the hour it was decided that they would call it a night. They had been saying goodnight and on their way upstairs Sara's phone rang,

"Sidle," she answered.

"Sara," instantly she recognized the voice.

"Jim, what's up?" She asked smiling at her mother who had also stopped to look back.

"There's a case… it's a big one. I'm not on it but you may be called in and I wanted to give you a heads up," he said "A family has been butchered in their own beds. Tell them no if you think it will be too much, your mothers in town I'm sure you could get yourself excused."

"Jim, I love that you worry so much about me, but it will be fine. I've worked these kinds of cases before and I am sure I will have them again," Sara explained.

"I know, but I'm allowed to worry, I'm your father," Jim told her.

"And I couldn't ask for a better one," she said into her phone, "listen I was just saying good night to mum, I'll talk to you later."

She ended the call with a sigh as much as she loved Jim sometimes he was overly protective. She had tried to prove she could handle her job but he never seemed quite convinced.

"Problem? Why is Jim worried about you?" Laura asked from when she had stopped on the stairs when the phone rang. Sara looked up,

"It's nothing. Big case. They will probably need some help so I might need to go in for a while," Sara explained as she climbed the stairs, "I might just head over there anyway I'm awake and I'm sure they wouldn't say no to an extra set of hands. Will you be okay in the house alone?"

"Of course, but are you sure, Jim wouldn't have called unless he though…" Laura said.

"Mum, please not you too, I can do my job, have been for years now," Sara sighed

"Sara I have never doubted that…" Laura rushed to say.

"I know… I do. It's just that sometimes it feels as though everyone is still trying to protect me," Sara explained.

"You have experiences most people your age will never know. You missed out on a lot of your childhood, we don't want you to miss out on anymore. I want to see you find the right person, getting married, having children, I don't want you to miss out," Laura told her.

"And some day I may be lucky enough to have those things too but for the moment I have a career I love, I am making some good friend and I have you and Jim, for the moment that is enough for me," she wrapped her arms around her mother hugging her tight, "I love that you care so much and am thankful that Jim was able to give me some normalcy," pulling back Sara smiled down at her mother, "go to bed, I'm going to go in see if they need some help."

Laura opened her mouth to say something but was cut off by a quicker Sara.

"No, this is not about proving myself to you or Jim this is me wanting to help a poor murdered family. Don't expect me to be back for breakfast," Sara turned away heading to her room to get ready for work.

CSI

Grissom was just finishing a report when the call came in, everyone else working tonight were still out on other cases and Sara had one of her few nights off since joining the team so he decided to head over alone until he knew he needed back up.

Arriving at the scene he found Det. O'Riley. The street was already crowded with curious bystanders. Two sisters having survived the ordeal were wrapped in blanket surrounded by officers. Inside four other family members had been slain in their sleep. An officer rushed out of the house and threw up in the bushes. It looked like it was going to be a rough night.

With no one from his team arrived yet he grabbed an officer standing outside without anything to do.

"Shibley you're with me," Grissom said walking towards the house.

Grissom signs in as he entered the taking a pair of latex gloves from his kit he hands them to Shibley and instructed him to put them on before he pulled out a pair for himself.

"I'm going to do a preliminary walk-through. You're going to take my notes," Grissom explained passing back a clipboard and pen.

Looking around Grissom spots the stairs and heads straight for them photo's of the family at all different ages ran along the wall heading upstairs. The familiar smell of copper filled his nostrils,

"The air smells like copper. Lots of blood. Breathe through your mouth," he advised knowing that the smell was hard for anyone not yet used to it.

"Yes, sir," the voice shook a little behind him.

They reach the top of the stairs and the first body comes into view, walking over Grissom began to recite,

"Male Caucasian approximately 40 years old lying in a pool of blood," he walked cautiously around the body. Grissom knelt down next to the body and continued, "no drag marks. Body does not appear to have been moved. Multiple stab wounds to the back and neck. Looks like a single-edged blade. Force to such a degree that the left and right internal jugular veins have been transected. Head faces west. Feet pointing east. Approximately two feet from the north wall, one foot from the south." he is interrupted.

"Could ... could you take your own notes? I think that I'm going to be sick," Grissom turned around, Shibley was standing behind him looking very green around the gills. Behind him, Sara appeared. She took one looks at Shibley and grabs the clipboard from him.

"I got it. Go get some fresh air," she offered with an understanding smile.

He runs off quickly coughing as he goes.

"I'm pretty sure it was you night off," Grissom said.

"I heard about the murders from… on Jim's scanner," she fidgeted slightly with the pen before pulling herself together, "thought you might need a hand."

"You don't sleep?" he asked noticing a slight nervousness to the younger woman.

"Mum had gone to bed… I slept some today and wasn't tired yet so I thought I might help if you needed… if you don't need me I can go…" she said now unsure of her decision to just show up at a crime scene.

"No it's okay, you're here now, stay I could use some help, I have no one else here to help me," he winces slightly as he realized how that sounded, "I mean…"

"Don't worry about it" Sara looked away from him to study a blood swirl on the wall, "are you thinking cult? Manson?"

"Somebody left a message," he told her shaking his head, "I need to see the rest of it before I jump to any conclusions"

They moved into the Master bedroom, a woman's body is lay bloodied sill under the covers. Grissom began to recite as Sara coped down his words.

"Female caucasian. Appears to be one stab wound to the throat. Transection of left and right carotid arteries with exsanguination hemorrhage. No defense marks. Cursory opinion: She was killed in her sleep,"

Sara stops suddenly and looks around, there was something… Grissom also stopped and looked back at her before also looking around the room. Something was dripping there was a small noise each time it hit a surface. Both CSI's moved in closer to the body, blood was still dripping from the body. Drops of blood ran down her fingers before dropping to a small puddle beside the body. Sara felt a chill run through her body as Grissom spoke quietly,

"Do you feel this?" he asked with a sigh.

"Her soul's still in the room," she said softly as she nods.

"But there's something else," he adds as Sara raised her camera to take a picture, without a word he leaves the room.

Along the floor blood drops lead back to the male body lying in the hall just outside the youngest daughter's room. Pushing the door open he peers in, it looked like any little girls room he had seen. Moving on he pushed open the door to the boy's room. Knowing what he was to find he was still saddened by what he sore. On one of the beds lay one of the sons, moving over to the bed he takes a closer look before a blood swirl on the mirror caches his attention. It was shaped like a bull's eye. The mirror uncovers the other boy laying hidden between the bed and wall on closer look it is obvious that the boy had been stabbed twice in the back. Pained he turned away to take a breath. Watching him, he found Sara in the doorway.

"I think we both could use some fresh air," she offered making sure he was following her before she turned and headed back down the hall and heading downstairs.

"You want a barf bag?" O'Riley asked as they exited.

"What I want the paramedics that were in this house back here immediately - police escort. Get them on this front lawn now," Grissom ordered in a way most people rarely heard him speak.

"You'd think I work for you instead of the other way around," O'Riley muttered as he walked away to do as he was instructed bit Grissom had already moved onto another officer,

"Call dispatch. You tell my entire graveyard shift that I want them here ASAP - all of them- no exceptions," the officer nodded and leaves and Grissom turns back to Sara, "Sara, those photos - blown up times ten. Tell the lab that we need

every forensics tool available to us here right away. This is the only crime scene in Las Vegas tonight."

"Yes, sir," Sara answered as he walked away oblivious to Sara's look of concern.

News teams were now lined up along the police tape but Grissom ignored them as he walked by. Grissom had a quick talk to the surviving teenage daughter who was obviously upset though something still did not feel right about her. Grissom then moved over to the police car where the youngest daughter sat huddled in a blanket staring off into space. He knelt down in front of her, she continued to stare blankly ahead.

"Hi. Is your name Brenda?" She blinked and looks at him, "I'm trying to find out who hurt your family. Do you think you could help me? Did anyone come into your room tonight? Through the door? Through the window maybe?" Realizing she wasn't going to talk he stands up to leave as he turns and a small hand stops him.

"The buffalo," a tiny voice behind him revealed.

Grissom turned around to look at Brenda. He kneelt back down in front of her.

"The buffalo? Who's the buffalo?" he asked softly but the girl had gone back to staring into space and didn't respond, "Brenda?" sensing he's not going to get any more from her, he stands up and leaves as a small pair of eye watches him go.

CSI

Sara headed back to the lab as instructed. In a couple of hours the photos were printed, enlarged and every inch examined. Evidence from the scene was slowly making its way to the lab when Sara headed back out to the scene. The crowds had eased some with people returning to their own homes and beds. Fewer police officers were in the yard and Sara could see Warwick of to the side of the house in the bushes. Grissom, having spotted her as she arrived walked over. He looked over at a little girl seated in a police car forgotten by those around her,

"You want me inside," Sara asked ready to get back to it.

"I need you to transport the little girl to the police department. Brass is waiting for you," Grissom told her. Sara sighed at the mention of Jim, not ready to deal with him she argued.

"You're kidding me, right? I come in on my night off and I'm a taxi service on the biggest case of the year? I would be more help here," she tried.

"Sara no one made you come in before you were called, that was all you... and I need one of us with that little girl, the others are already working the scene while you are between jobs. Jim's waiting for you, get a move on,"

Grissom turned and walked away before she could argue any further leaving Sara to watch him go. Breathing in deeply she turned and walked over to the waiting child.

"Brenda, right?" Sara asked bending over, "my name is Sara. I'm going to be taking you down to the police station, okay?" Sara asked. The little girl looked up at her with a blank expression revealing nothing, "that's okay you don't need to say anything let's just go get this over with."

Brenda sat at a table using the black crayon and vigorously coloring. Sara was watching from the doorway when Jim cam up beside her. Without needing to turn around she said,

"I'm fine," turning she looked at him, "please don't start up again."

"How'd you end up with the kid," he asked trying to lighten the mood.

"I don't know, unlucky I guess. Look, Jim, can't you give Grissom a call, you know I know nothing about kids. I don't see why I got to take her. I'm a scientist. Catherine's the mom. They should have asked her." Sara grumbled, turning to look at him.

"O'Riley was primary on this till it passed over to me. I think you may be the best person for this." he told her.

"What about Family Services? Can't they take her? Sara asked.

"They will, they will send their caseworker to meet you and the kid at the hospital," he explained.

"I am not good with kids," she insisted.

"You think I was when I first met you. Look, I'm not asking you to adopt her but you understand what she is going through better than anyone else, think about how you felt and how you wanted to be treated after… Just take her over to sunrise for a Psych Eval, will you?" He gave her should a squeeze, "I have to meet Grissom at the lab, I will talk to you later," he turned and walked away.

Sara looked at Brenda, walking in she sat down across from her. Glancing back through the doorway she sore Jim turn the corner. Leaning in she looks at the picture Brenda worked on.

"That's very pretty," Sara said. Brenda grabs another crayon and scribbles all over the picture, "or not," Sara said as Brenda put the crayon down, "want to go for another ride?

Without saying anything, Brenda pushes the paper and all the crayons off the table and onto the floor and covers her ears. "I'll take that as a yes," Sara said with a sigh knowing that Brenda probably just wanted to be left alone.

Arriving at the hospital they were met by a doctor who introduced himself as Dr Leever. He talked softly to Brenda and made to lead her away towards an exam room pulling back she looked up at Sara. Sara tried to reassure her with a small smile and nod that it was okay that she went with the doctor. While they were in the examination Sara was joined by social services and the silently waited for Brenda's return. A short while later Brenda walked out now holding hands with Dr Leever, with a pink stuffed toy in her other arm. Sara stood up to meet them, the social services rep stood up as well.

"Which one of you is with Family Service?" the doctor asked.

"I am. Connie Bellvue," the woman introduced herself. Dr Leever turned his full attention to the woman, Sara remained close listening to what they had to say.

"Brenda's fine but I'd like her to have a consult. I've paged the psychiatric resident. Should be here within the hour," he explained before leaving.

"Thanks. I'll take it from here," Ms Bellvue said as she dismissed Sara.

Sara didn't like the way the woman tried to take possession of Brenda, _she was a little girl not an object. _Brenda obviously appeared uncomfortable with the woman.

"What ... what's the head exam for?" Sara stalled knowing full well what it was for from her own experience.

"I said ... we'll take it from here," the woman dismissed her again.

"Look, if there's any forensic evidence found during this exam, I need to be there," Sara insisted not giving up.

"It's already going to be tense, Ms Bellvue said as she made a move to pass her. Brenda not agreeing with the older woman quietly steps away from Ms Bellvue and around to behind Sara taking hold of Sara jacket and tugging on it with her small hands, "Go back to your crime lab. I'll keep you posted," but Sara's attention was already taken by Brenda as the communicated silently. Sara put a reassuring hand around the girls shoulder's and nod's,

"It's okay, Brenda," she said to Brenda while looking up at Ms Bellvue, "I'm not leaving you."

They took their seats again this time Brenda beside Sara and Ms Bellvue across the hall from them watching on crossly. Sara had slouched down in her chair to be level with Brenda, which due to her height and the plastic chair was far from comfortable. Mostly they sat quietly with Sara occasionally talking softly,

"That a cute toy you have," she said as she was shown the stuffed animal, though it had defiantly seen better days.

"Don't worry about this next doctor, it sound worse than it is." as Brenda started to fidget.

"You don't have to say anything, you just need to be in control of something at the moment, and you know what," she said as Brenda looked up at her, "I once went months without speaking to anyone," she revealed bringing a small smile to a sad face.

When the next doctor arrived Brenda took a firm grip of Sara's hand so Sara could do nothing but willingly follow glad to be there for some moral support.

The exam room was mostly quiet except for the doctor's question. That was until he mentioned something about Buffalo and Brenda went hysterical. No one could do anything to calm her until Sara pulled her into her arms and held her tightly. At first she fought but soon began to relax. Sara glared at the doctor who had been ready to give her a shot in an effort to relax her. Brenda soon fell asleep and a bed was quickly found for her, as soon as her arms were free again she called Jim and made the request that he put a call through to child service saying they couldn't take Brenda while Sara left the hospital to attend, hopefully, a quick team meeting

Sara walked into the break room where the team had already assembled, having started before she arrived.

"Hey, heard you have a suspect," she said walking over to the kitchenette to grab something to eat.

"We got about four just on the tire prints alone. Homicide's grabbing them up," Warwick told her.

"Let's talk about what else we have. Tina Collins' pajama top from the murder scene without a drop of blood on it," Grissom added as Sara joined them at the table with her plate of food.

"Hello. How does she explain that?" Sara asked sitting down.

"We're about to go ask her," Catherine explained, "Nick, what did you find out about that stuff that you collected at the back of the house?"

"The bidi? DNA's still processing but Tina said nobody in the family smoked," Nick

"So a non-family member was out there," Sara said.

"Bidi? Bidi? I thought you found a cigarette and a match behind the house," Grissom asked slightly confused.

"Well, it's just like a cigarette," Nick explained.

"Kids smoke them. They think there's less carbon monoxide," Sara added.

"What did you find out about the psych exam on the little girl?" Grissom moved along turning his full attention on Sara.

"The shrink says Brenda is in a catatonic state from a trauma," Sara said, "I could've told you that. But she did respond to the name Buffalo."

"Respond how?" Grissom asked.

"She freaked out," Sara answered sighing a little, catching Catherine's attention.

"And ... what are you doing about it now?" Grissom wanted to know.

"Going back to the girl," Sara told him pausing, "I left her in the car," Grissom and Catherine looked at her stunned, "The windows are cracked," Sara added serious expression across her face. Her colleagues continue to stare at her not knowing what to say. Pushing her seat back she stands, "that reminds me, I really should get back to her…" she said heading to the door still getting no response, "God, people, give me a little credit. She's at the hospital... you people don't know me at all," she muttered leaving the room.

From the hallway she heard a snicker that sounded like Warwick. Ignoring it she headed back out leaving the team to finish without her. _Did they really think she was that naïve, she might not have much experience with children but, please, she wasn't stupid, _she though as she got into her car.

CSI

Sara's phone rang gust as she was about to re-enter Brenda's room, peeking in she saw Brenda was still asleep so she remained out in the hall and quickly answered the call

"Sara?" she was asked for before she had a chance to say anything.

"Yeah," she said deciding she could cut pleasantries as well.

"Sara. When they examined the little Collins girl did they check for sexual abuse?" Grissom asked her from the other end.

"There were no overt signs," Sara told him holding her breath as she asked, "why?" nervous for his answer.

"Have some ultraviolet photographs taken," he told her as she moved back to the doorway to look in on the sleeping girl.

They ended the call and Sara sat in a chair beside Brenda's bed and watched her sleep as memories of her own child hood flashed throw her head.

_22 years earlier_

_Sara was starting school on Monday and her mother had decided to take her shopping to pick up some new things before she started. Once arriving home from there shopping trip Sara begged her mother to wear one of her new dresses, after her mother helped her put it on she twirled and twirled, she had never had such a nice dress before._

"_What is all this racket going on," her father demanded from the doorway._

"_Sorry Daddy," Sara said smiling forgetting for once to be wary around him, "but look at my new dress, isn't it…" Sara was pushed aside as her father moved towards her mother._

"_Do you really think we have this kind of money to spend on her," her father shouted at her mother._

"_She needs clothes, everything she has it too small, she can't wear them to school," Laura told him softly taking Sara's hand in her own._

"_Well don't send her to school then," her father argued._

"_She's five she has to go to school. She needs to interact with children and she's bright she will be a good student," her mother told him taking a small step back._

"_She's a waste of money is what she is," he said angrily._

"_Don't speak about her that way," Laura said pushing Sara protectively behind her._

"_Don't tell me how to talk," he back handed her across the face sending her into a wall and Sara onto the floor, "Take everything back you hear me." he demanded before turning and leaving the room._

_19 years before_

_Sara looked proudly at the blue ribbon she had received at school after winning the spelling bee as she rushed in the back door of the house eager to share it with her mother. She ran into something solid and fell to the ground landing painfully on her left wrist. Beside her a bottle smashed and liquid spilled filling the air around her with the scent of beer._

"_That was my last beer, you good for nothing… for that you're going to go to the store and pick me up a new pack.," her father shouted at her as she tried to push herself up with her right arm._

"_Dad, my wrist hurts," she cried._

"_I'll make something else hurt if you don't do what you told," he kicked her in the side sending her off balance and back down to the floor this time glass cut into her as she landed and she cried out in pain, "oh, stop your belly aching and get down to the shop," he threw a few notes at her and went into the lounge. _

_16 years ago_

_Posters had gone up at school today for an upcoming dance. Her friend Sharni had gotten so excited and Sara couldn't help but get caught up in it. Sara knew she probably would not be allowed to attend but Sharni had gone on and on about her coming over to get ready and even spending the night. Sara had never been to a sleepover before and wished her parents would let her. When she arrived home from school she found her mother in the kitchen preparing dinner. Her father wasn't home yet so she was able to tell her mother all about her and Sharni's plans. "We'll see," her mother told her and as it wasn't a direct no it left her with some hope._

_Going up to her room she stood in front of the mirror. She had never considered herself pretty just rather plain. Opening her wardrobe she looked at the contents inside was mostly jeans and t-shirts. She hadn't worn a dress since she was five flat out refusing to even try one on. The one dress that hung in the closet was something her mother picked up in a thrift store deciding against Sara that at some point she may need a dress. Pulling it out Sara had a closer look at it. It wasn't brand new with ruffles and frills rather a simple cut that fell to just above her knees but she could always accessories. Her mother had some pretty scarfs and maybe she would lend her a necklace._

_Leaving her room Sara made her way down the hall to her parent's room. Opening the wardrobe door she looked at the scarf's hanging inside, there were a couple that word look good with the dress. Moving over to the dresser she went to open her mother's jewelry box but stopped. Beside it lay the case her mother kept her makeup in. picking it up Sara hurried into the bathroom. Looking at several shades of eye shadow she decided blue would be the best color; carefully she applied some to her eyelids. For a first attempt she was quite proud of herself. Next she found some pink lipstick and dabbed it lightly to her lips. Not happy with the look she wiped it off and pulled out the red tube of lipstick and applied it. It was a little bright for her liking but would do, she decided. Looking at her reflection her hair looked all wrong with her made up face pulling it up with her hands she looked at herself from several angles._

"_What are you doing in here," an angry voice demanded from behind her causing her to drop her hair and turn quickly towards the door._

"_Dad… I was, ah… I was just trying… we have a school dance…" She stuttered nervously._

"_So you decided to dress up like a whore," he shot at her grabbing her arm roughly. Grabbing some tissues from the counter he rubbed the lipstick from her mouth her teeth cut into her lips with the force he used._

"_Dad, no… stop it, I'm sorry," she cried trying to turn her face away._

"_But you seem to like looking like a whore, maybe it's time to start treating you like one to," he leered at her._

_Sara twisted out of his grip catching his face with her arm in her escape and leaving the sleeve of her new shirt behind still in his grasp. She ran from the bathroom, she ran back into her parents room and slid under the bed. She could hear her father calling out to her getting more and more angry. She saw his feet appear in the doorway and as he moved towards the bed she curled herself into a tight ball. _

"_Think you can hide from me whore, you're going to get what come to you," he roared._

_Sara closed her eye as he knelt down. As a hand wrapped around her ankle she screamed and kicked out, freeing herself again she turned around to get away but was jerked back when he grabbed hold of her hair and dragged her from beneath the bed. _

"_Shut up," he yelled lifting her like a rag doll and throwing her onto the bed. She tried to roll as she landed but this time he was quicker than her and pinned her to the bed…_

Present

A hand placed on her shoulder jolted her back into the present, jumping up she turned. Grissom stood behind her confused expression on his face.

"Sorry… I, ah… I realized you probably didn't have… I bought you the camera," he indicated to the bag on his shoulder, "and thought I'd stick around so I could take the film back to the lab to process. How the two you were getting along," he asked.

"She's asleep," Sara said lamely, "I mean, I didn't want to disturb her she has had a rough night. I guess I just got lost in my own thoughts while I waited for her to wake up."

"No, right, of course," he stuttered, "well it looks like she's waking up now so I'll just go into the hall and give the two of you some privacy."

He turned and quickly exited from the room. Sara turned back to the bed to see Brenda now staring up at her.

"Hey, you're awake," Sara gave her a small smile as the girl just stared back at her, "right, well, how do you feel about having some photo's taken," as Brenda just continued watching her Sara finished, "no arguments, okay so I guess we should get started."

CSI

Grissom stood just outside the door and listened to Sara talk to the child.

"This... is a very special camera. It can see deep into your skin. It can see things nobody can see. How about I take a picture of me first, okay?" he heard her explain followed by a click of the camera, "See? It's okay," it went quiet as Sara prepared to take the shots making sure Brenda was comfortable with what she was doing as she worked.

"Has anyone ever told you it's rude to eavesdrop," Grissom jumped as Brass joined him.

"I was… Sara is taking the ultraviolet photo's of Brenda, I thought I'd give them some space," Grissom tried to explain.

"You didn't get very far," Jim replied with a raised eyebrow.

"Jim?" Sara questioned as she lead Brenda from the room.

Cookie," Jim smiled, "Gil told me about your lead and I thought maybe I could take the little lady off your hands so you can follow it up," he told Sara as he crouched down to Brenda's level, "how do you feel about reading a book with an old man," Brenda looked up at Sara, clutching her had tightly, before looking back at Jim offering him a small nod in acceptance.

CSI

Grissom stood beside Sara in the dark room as she developing the photos, the photos were just starting to take form and she inhaled deeply as the bruises appeared.

"Damn it. Look at all those bruises," she mumbled mostly to herself.

"Somebody was all over this kid," Grissom added.

"This isn't right, how could someone get away with this, she is so little, she doesn't deserve this," Sara exclaimed sadly.

"Does anyone deserve to be hurt, abused or killed," Grissom asked.

"Yes, there are many people out there… if her father was the one doing this to her then he deserved to be punished," Sara argued.

"Punished is very different to murdered,"

"Only people not involved in the abuse would believe that. For some people it is the only way to escape," Sara stated harshly

"Sara…" Grissom saw her getting worked up and tried to put an end of the conversation but Sara was already on a roll.

"Do you know how close I nearly came to being that little girl, I was physically and mentally abused for years before… my mum stopped him the only way she could and though at first I couldn't understand her actions I know now that if she hadn't done what she had to I might have been… I am thankful that I am alive and that I, with the help of some others, was able to put my life back together, a lot of people don't get that," Sara took a breath and looked up into Grissom's face, "if Tina Collin's took it into her own hands to protect her little sister then she should be congratulated. I know she is likely to spend years in jail for what she has done but she has made the world a safer place for that little girl and someday I hope Brenda will be able to thank her for it."

"Sara, I'm sorry… I didn't know. Maybe it will be best if you take the rest of the night of, go home and get some rest," Grissom suggested.

"No, people need to stop trying to… I'm fine, I need to see this through," Sara told him.

"Okay, well, let's get this case closed than," Grissom said opening the darkroom door letting her pass through it before taking a breath of his own before following.

Jim entered the interrogation room ahead of Grissom, together they sat across from Tina Collins and Grissom laid out the photo's Sara had taken of Brenda.

"We have forensic evidence that your father sexually abused your sister." Grissom told the teenager across from him. Slowly she reached out a hand tracing the edges of the photo sadly. "We also know ... that he was in her room the night of the murders," Grissom explained.

"How can you tell?" Tina asked softly.

"Blood drops," Grissom explained, "…they fall a certain way depending on the motion of the victim," Tina took a breath as the continued to stare at the pictures in front of her. Taking pity on the girl Grissom took the photo's and put them back into a folder, "something horrible happened in that house, didn't it, Tina? Long before the night of the murders?"

"That was the last night he was going to touch her," Tina cried out.

"But why your mother? And why your brothers? That's what I don't understand," Grissom asked.

"Because they should have protected me," Tina openly sobbed now.

"You?" Grissom asked starting to get a picture of what this girl had been through.

"My father…" she faded out a little as if remembering, "I was young. I learned to deal. But when he went for my daughter..." Grissom sat back as he realized…

"Brenda is ... ? And who is ... ?

"The father? I was thirteen ... and nobody noticed that my clothes were getting bigger. Nice, huh? Brenda may hate me for what I did ... but I protected her. I did that much," the word she spoke brought back Sara's words, _for some people it is the only way to escape._

Grissom sat back and let Brass finish the interview as he absorbed all the information he had learnt that night. This girl could have been Sara, her mother had stopped it from happening to her… that's while they were apart for so many years and how she and Jim probably came to meet. He had always seen Jim as a bachelor type just like himself, married to his job but seeing him with Sara, and today with Brenda, things were not as they always as they seemed. Until today he would never have guessed that Sara had grown up in an abusive home, she seemed stable and happy.

As the interrogation wrapped up Tina was escorted from the room. Jim and Grissom followed her out. Down the hall they had a clear view into Jims office. Inside Sara sat with Brenda holding her had as they sat in silence. Both men stopped and watched as they saw the comfort and ease between woman and child.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

The hardest thing Sara had to do in a long time was let Brenda be taken by Social Services. Watching the child being pulled away to who knew where brought back memories of when the same thing had happened to her. Leaving everything you have ever known behind you. Not knowing what the future held. Luckily things had worked out for Sara. Many others weren't so lucky. Sara continued to stare down the hall long after Brenda had disappeared and was started as someone spoke her name.

"Sara?"

"Huh," she looked up, "Jim…"

"You ok," he asked.

"Fine, just thinking," she told him standing up.

"Ready to go?"

"Yeah, just need to stop by the lab to pick up my stuff; I'll meet you at home. Mum is probably wondering what has happened to us. We haven't been home in nearly forty eight hours," Sara said leaning in she kisses him softly on the cheek.

"What was that for?" he smiled.

"Thank you… just… thank you," she told him with her own smile before she headed out.

CSI

Walking through the front door of Jim's house forty five minutes later Sara heard the voices of Jim and her Mother talking in the kitchen.

"That poor girl…" she heard Laura say, "…but Sara… she's ok?"

"Appears to be, but she's good at hiding her feelings," Jim said as Sara entered the room, "…Sara?"

"I'm fine," she opened the fridge and pulled out a bottle of water, "few memories rehashed but it's dealt with… I have an appointment with my therapist tomorrow. Nothing for you to worry about." She saw tears in her mother's eyes, "Mum… please… if anything I am more worried for Brenda. She didn't deserve the life that she got. Nobody does. She's going to have to live with what has happened to her for the rest of her life," she sat on a stool and took a sip of water as she looked between Jim and Laura, "…I just wish there was something I could do to make things easier for her… give her the chance I was given."

"Sara…" Jim started.

"Maybe we could…?" Laura interrupted.

"What… Laura, this is not the same!" Jim jumped up.

"Is it… you took Sara in, helped her move on," Laura stated.

Sara watched them as they argued. Both had some good points. She never had any experience with kids before but she had experienced… had been through a similar experience. She understood a lot of what Brenda was feeling.

"We both work long hours, nights… who would take care of her…?" Jim said.

"I would," Laura told them.

"You…you don't even live in Vegas," Sara said.

"I could… I want to be closer to you, both of you, I could get a place nearby. Take care of her while you work."

"It's not that easy… I would love to have you closer mum, but these things need time, money and with our background… It would be hard to even…" Sara trailed off.

"And just so you know… if you ever moved to Vegas I would expect you to live here, with me," Jim told her.

"I know you want to help, and I love you for that. But we have to think of Brenda. She will need a lot of help and support. I have just moved here. Jim works longer hours now than he ever did… and you… don't take this the wrong way Mum but… you can't fix what went wrong with our family by trying to make a new one." Sara said, "…it has to be what's best for Brenda, what she wants."

"Let's leave this for the moment. Get some sleep; it's been a long day. Things may look different in the morning."

"It is morning," Laura smiled.

"For you maybe, me I need some sleep if I'm going to make it back to work tonight," Jim gave both women a kiss on the cheek, "Sorry, Laura… you're on your own today, Sara get some sleep,"

He warned her.

"I will, good night," Sara said. Jim left them and Sara turned back to her mother, "please don't push this. I don't know how I feel."

"Ok honey, I'm sorry if you think I'd push you into anything you don't want," Laura took her hand, "…but I do want to be here, spent more time with you. I've been thinking about it since you moved here. You're both here now. I get to be with the two people I care about the most."

Sara gave her mother a hug. They talked for a little longer before Sara started yawning and her mother told her to go to bed.

Authors note: Sorry for the short chapter. I just wanted to finish off the previous episode. Time to move on and get some GSR going.

Reviews are appreciated. Tell me what you think. Do you think they can make a new family or is it better to move past this.


	15. Chapter 15

**Sorry about the delay updating. As much as I loved CSI in the past it just isn't the same without Grissom and i don't follow it as much anymore. It doen't help that the show is harder to follow in Australia as they swap it around so much. I miss the days where you could watch reruns daily in the USA.**

**I'm gonna try not to give up on this and my other stories, but there may be more delays between postings.**

**Enjoy!**

**Chapter 15**

Sara wad just started down stairs when the doorbell rang. She opened the door to find Grissom on the other side.

"What are you doing here?" Sara blurted.

"Sara!" Sara turned around as her mother came up behind her, "Don't speak to a guest that way," she stepped around Sara and held a hand out, "Mr Grissom, welcome. You're just in time."

"Time, Time for what?" Sara asked.

"Dinner… Mr Grissom called just after you and Jim had gone to bed. He wanted to check up on you so I told him to come see for himself," Laura explained, "take his jacket while I go and finish up in the kitchen."

Laura left them and Sara stepped back to allow Grissom entry.

"I don't have to stay," Grissom offered.

"No I'm sorry that was rude of me. I was surprised… stay," she told him.

Grissom turned and closed the door. Sara came up behind him and placed her hands on his shoulders. Grissom froze, startled. He looked over his shoulder.

"I… ahhh, your jacket," Sara stuttered as her face went red.

She took a step back as he shrugged it off. Grissom turned around looked at Sara and then his jacket now in a heap on the floor.

"I… ahhh," Sara step forward and learnt over to pick up the jacket at the same time as Grissom bent bent. Their heads crashed together. Sara ended up on the floor next to the jacket as Grissom stood up rubbing his head.

"Sorry," he said offering her a hand. Sara handed him the jacket instead and pushed herself up. Standing Sara took a step away as laughter filled the air around them.

"I knew you guys were having some problems connecting, I see that's no longer a problem," Brass laughed as he continued down the stairs past them, up the hall and into the kitchen.

They heard Laura as she tried to shush him. Sara flicked Grissom a quick look as he shuffled his feet nervously.

"Come on, let's get this over with," she said as she headed down the hall into the kitchen to join her family.

CSI

Dinner started off as a quiet affair. Laura had made vegetarian lasagna along with salad and garlic bread and the all ate in silence to begin with. No one seemed to know what to talk about. Three of the four people at the table had had a hard night with a difficult case; it had brought up some past wounds for two of those people for which the fourth person could understand and that their colleague had no knowledge.

"Is anyone going to talk about the elephant in the room," Laura said frustrated with the silence.

"Elephant…" Sara and Jim looked at Laura warning her with their eye to tread carefully as Grissom watched confused.

"The one behind you Jim, I picked it up at the market today,"

Everyone turned and saw the small a small elephant statue on display. Though a little annoyed by her mother's joke Sara felt a smile appear on her face.

"Any excuse to break the silence, right Mom," Sara laughed.

"And a good excuse to go shopping," Laura smiled at her daughter before getting serious, "I know you've been having a rough couple of days, that case, Brenda,"

Sara looked nervously over a Grissom not liking where this was headed.

"It's our job," she cut her mother off.

"That doesn't stop me from worrying," Laura told her.

"Please just leave it alone, I'm tired, and not on the mood," Sara pushed back her chair and stood up, "I'm gonna go get ready for work,"

"You don't start for hours," Grissom mentioned, regretting he spoke up the moment her glare turned on him.

"I'm going in early, there plenty for me to do there," she shot at him and left the room.

* * *

** A/N not much, I know, but I'm a little stuck, I'll try again soon.**


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